Goddammit, this exactly. I didn't come in for much of this kind of putrid nonsense when I was working the jobs that tend to draw it out (gender and size have their privileges, as we know); I've seen more than I care to, and it is one of my least-favorite human behaviors not considered a felony. A few further points…

If he'd lost a foreleg too (I am glad he didn't) he'd basically be the pug Admiral Nelson. You and your dog sound awesome. If we should ever cross paths (I'll recognize you by the half-blind, deaf pug) I'll stand you both a glass of grog.

That picture reminds me irresistibly of a portrait, or perhaps a bust, of Admiral Lord Nelson (I couldn't find a ready picture of it on google; not sure where I saw it). If he were my dog, I do not think I could stop myself from giving him a small admiral's hat and singing "Rule, Britannia" and "Heart of Oak" whenever…

That dog is goddamn glorious.

ROLL DAMN TIDE

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! Wait, sorry, I had something for this...oh, right...BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Justice delayed is Justice denied.

And the man knew how to mount a chair, and by that I mean, in a way that was weird to the point of inexplicable, unnatural yet graceful, and somehow deeply sexual.

I love the idea that Tim Howard just swats away everything that comes at him, from shots on goal to hugs.

It's like his higher functioning just fell off the wagon and he wrote this straight from the id. "Something something fixation on women as sexual objects something something fantasizing about a relationship based on wealthy older man/attractive younger woman power dynamic something something obsession with 'exotic'…

"That's not how adults are supposed to act at baseball games..."

Agreed. It is so ordered.

I would also suggest a modified exemption for day drinking in the event of brutally, unseasonably cold weather for the region. The key is that these events must not occur more than once or twice a year and, again, are adjusted by region (Minnesotans don't just get to say, 'oh, look, cold again', glug glug, although…

I'll be damned - so it didn't. Hoist on my own pedantry petard.

Pardon my piling on; with respect, such a comment should include the proper mode of address. The correct formulation, I think you'll find, is "Do you even scuba dive, bro?"

The idea that one of these correspondents thought that a program involving the Jacksonville Jaguars would help teach the lad right from wrong provides matter for very grave reflection.

I'm open to the argument that it might be time to switch to decaf.

This seems fair enough. I strenuously object, however, to the introduction of "sorrynotsorry" at the end. Fake apologies run the gamut from boorish to outright offensive, and aren't funny or even scampish. If you're not sorry, don't apologize at all (this would seem to be the essential point of the ad). The mother in…

I initially read the name of this product as "Crazy Room", a mistake by which I stand.

Your coworker: