Gravity finally gets its sweet revenge on Newton. 

Right? I’m a motorcycle rider as well - bikeless at the moment, unfortunately - but before I’d jump on my own well-maintained and babied bike, I’d always do a pre-ride check of the brakes, the tires, electrical, etc to make sure everything was working as expected.

How do you catch ducks to tape ‘em?

“The scooter didn’t brake in time” No asshole. Your daughter didn't brake in time. Im all for civil litigation (I depend on it for a living), but its amazing to see the rationalities people make to blame a company for their mistakes.

So you are a family of assholes. Good to know.

What a shame. Those the type of injuries that usually have street cred when sharing the story about the injury. But once you say ‘bird scooter’ it’s all lost!

Gotta agree with you there....I hate taking a piss at work, let alone using one of those toilets for more than that. For me it's coffee, shit, shower, fresh for the rest of the day. 

Signs to Golden State for one year and plays for the minimum. They go 98-0. Basketball Knowers and Take Havers die of mass, collective stroke.

Breaking: Cleveland’s spirit

I clicked expecting a list of funny guys’ names, whimsical enough perhaps to make the kid in my kid’s daycare named Rocket seem dull. Instead I got a treatise on what it means to be an American. What a letdown.

I’d take the desert over New Jersey.

Most refrigerator items REQUIRE being rinsed off in the sink before putting them in the fridge. Not that the stock guy in the grocery store ever scratched his butthole before touching your products. Never.

This. So much this. With all the stoppages in play for commercials, and the general shittiness of the people around you, watching a game live sucks.

The fatigue thing is a you problem, stop pretending it’s a real thing.

Not particularly, and I think you’re missing the point of her post.

Conservatism is simply cowardice pretending to be an ideology.

This is some combo of poorly fitted dental appliance, dry mouth, speech impediment (beyond being a native son of Queens), senility, and drug use.

And that’s only if you’re white. Anyone of color will have to enter through the service door around back.

crazy to think that someday we will all crawl into that huge pink mouth and huddle behind the shattered and tilted peaks of his teeth along the rolling wet hills of his McDonald’s-impacted gum line as he leaps, naked, out into space on a trajectory set for Earth 2, a quivering savior hurtling spread eagle through the…

“gwab dem by da pussthy”