Wanna know who still buys CDs? These people do, which is why "shirtless country" is a thing now. It's basically country-twanged pop rock based around dumb bumpkin escapist fantasies and performed by wholesome non-threatening rubes whose greatest dream is to become the new Jimmy Buffett. These tours are a huge deal…

On the BBC, Jonathan Pearce's grasp of GLT was... not solid:

Typical American response. In other parts of the world, they refrain from using violence when stupid acts like streaking occur. But not for the typical American rent-a-cop. He has to display his American machismo. Let us shower him with scorn.

"The safe assumption is that Machado was aiming for Abad, and fortunately missed by a mile."

You cared enough to comment.

I'm not watching videos that are filmed in portrait mode anymore. I'm just not. It's 2014 people, figure it the fuck out.

Oh so this is what happens when you don't stare and dance around like a childish idiot. Cough Puig cough cough

One's outdoor, one's indoor.

There are like, 8 teams in MLL. Does everybody make the playoffs or what? They should be asking Jay Z how to create a product people want to watch first and calling his toughness into question later.

The secret for achieving hair that will never move.

"Hot nurses to crush, bro."

Did he slide head first into the bedpan?

Not sure how a tweeted photo can smell like Axe Body spray, but here we are.

He's a five-tool tool.

So...did he have surgeons put the gel in his hair during the operation?

Harper was disappointed that his hospital gown didn't have a collar he could pop for the photo.

I'm just shocked he was able to hit a target.

I know you're desperate to get cheered after being booed by your hometown crowd Sidney, but this is a little excessive.

So, not only did you a) shit all over a completely adequate joke, but b) you failed to even correctly name the first Canadian astronaut. Really glad you could drop by and increase the local methane atmospheric mix with your mouthbreathing.

Honestly, I'm totally fucking impressed with Canada's first attempt at getting a man made object into low Earth orbit. I'm just upset that its' first potential astronaut let go of the rope he was hanging from.