If he was cold-blooded, he would have fucking died before the first snap.

Actually, if he was cold blooded, his blood would assume the external temperature, rendering him unable to perform simple tasks such as balling and the like and so forth and so on.

Holy shit, Harbaugh threw the largest challenge flag I've ever seen on that play

He deserved to get spit on for filming in portrait mode.

"Built like a handless Jim Palmer."

That first section definitely reminded me of this

This is absolutely dying for a photoshop. And Priefer would appreciate it, too, since he's not a bigot.

Playoff games in Cincy and Indy might be blacked out, partly as a result of high ticket prices? Geez, just imagine if the Colts and Bengals had also demanded those same fans pay for the construction of their brand-new stadiums by digging into their tax dollars.

Once or twice

Even though Philly sold all their tickets, three of four Eagles fans will definitely be blacked out.

The Bengals could sell out if they talked Philip Rivers into buying one ticket for each of his children.

Helpful mnemonic device: when struggling to remember if it's "Jets rite of passage" or "Jets write of passage", keep in mind that if Geno Smith is involved, there won't be a W.

think long and hard before sending pictures of your penis to women

"All this talking & texting, he NEVER mentioned a girlfriend."

No reason to believe him until he produces his gay certificate.

I'm shocked Philadelphia didn't have more turnovers during the Andy Reid era, seeing as how Apple and Blueberry are his favorite flavors.

I don't know if this helps, but I think the Buffalo Bills will be the most fasciitis team of 2014.

Aaron Hernandez.

Please god and baby Jesus make this happen.