My submission:

Being a single mother is not for the faint of heart, I tell you.

How to start your day like Mocena:

2015 can go sit in a corner until it straightens the fuck up.

One unfortunate visit to family in Botswana when I was 10 taught me this life lesson: hippos may look adorably dopey and sweet-natured, but they are mean fuckers, and holy shit they can move fast. Having half a ton of cranky hippo bearing down on you is a way to have a really bad day. Also, they sometimes twirl their…

To be perfectly frank, this has spiraled completely out of control. I’m afraid I’ve done everything I can and if Kara can’t fix it, it’s the Thunderdome for the both of them.

Kara,

Stop science-ing on these pearl clutchers.

Given all the recent changes at Gawker Media, it’s comforting to know that you’re still dedicated lashing out at your readers and being a massive cunt in the comments for no reason at all.

Are you kidding me? That’s really professional of her! I honestly always assumed they were bigger / more professional than that but now I know I am gray listed because I will do the same. I’m approved for like millihelen and the vane and one or two more where the bloggers are better at their jobs / less sensitive but…

She needs to be fired, although I guess gawker would have a hard time finding anyone who would be willing to replace her. It is baffling to me that someone who writes for their job can have such a loose grasp on the language as well as such a childish and shitty attitude with criticism.

It’s really bothering me now too because something can’t just be “wrenchingly beautiful” and I'm concerned that jia thinks it can be and also thinks she can give attitude to that.

Totally unnecessary. You’re a jerk.

I didn’t read the initial comment as a criticism myself. I kind of “heard” the comment in an overly dramatic cartoon voice spoken by some internet meme face that was desperate to really know. Ha! But if it was criticism, then the criticism is douchetastic because there is nothing wrong with how she phrased her…

Well that escalated quickly!

Ah. There she is!

Not by a long shot, no.

But don’t you understand? Jia is a Serious Writer! She has an MFA and uses words like “impute” and smokes weed and calls women “brah”! And lives in Brooklyn! BROOKLYN!