A SLEEPOVER WITH MICHELLE AND A NASA SCIENTIST AND AN ASTRONAUT? MY CHILDHOOD WAS TRASH.

I don’t know if Jezebel or Gawker mentioned this but recently the Girl Scouts were offered a $100,000 donation to one of their groups…on the condition that it didn’t go to anything that included or supported ‘trans-girls’.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOVe the fact that the more progressive we get, the more and more these people sound like absolute LOONEY TOONS.

Stop, please...I can only get so erect.

Excuse me but if we didn’t have pennies what would I throw into filthy mall fountains when I was making a wish, Blerg? HOW WOULD MY DREAMS COME TRUE THEN!?!?!

Wow, some of her other posts on this are really heartbreaking:

also, HE IS CLEARLY MARRIED and she STILL doesn’t get that at the end, which is mind-blowing. like, thats not an engagement party, sweetie.

Or, “hmm, I don’t dislike that idea.” If I hear that one more time from my betrothed or in a meeting, someone’s gonna get wang punched

You had me at “wanna come”.

Right?

HOLY FUCKING SHIT! Sorry for yelling, but what a gaping, thundering, festering, asshole. That motherfucker’s going to be the subject of Snapped, or Killer Kids.

Color me an asshole, but I hate it more when it’s from a wife to her husband. I mean, my husband’s not a bad dad at all, but he’s not amazing. He’s not the best. He fucks up a lot, but our kids won’t need the expensive kind of therapy. He does the best he can, which is all I ask.

Yup. When we all go to Michigan for vaca, he’ll go away for a whole day to do golf courses or ride trails. Like, his kids are everyone else’s problem, not his. It’s infuriating.

No, they send her away. Sometimes cats need alone time.

The other day I told my husband that in his mind there are “Good ideas, and then... everybody else’s ideas.” But yeah. Husbands.

My boyfriend quite often goes “Hmm!” or “Not a the worst idea” when I tell him things. He downtalks EVERYTHING and it drives me fucking mental. If I make him dinner and he says that it’s “decent”, apparently it’s delicious. I’m just like, EXPRESS YOURSELF PLEASE.

This made me laugh, because I say this all the time to my boyfriend. It means “I slightly disagree with you but am unwilling to make an issue of it and/or I am too lazy to argue about it.”

I’ll give you a story (but I’m a guy.) My husband once said to me, “You clean up nice. I wish you could look more like this all the time.”