Not available in Canada.

“we’re trying to have a goddam society here” — I love this so much.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

I am made unreasonably happy about the shake story. Though I don’t personally work there, there’s a small, local ice cream shop down the road I get coffee at (weird, I know, but it’s cheap and pretty good) and there are just so many entitled kids there whose parents don’t do anything about. TThe worst one of these…

I had two bosses at Borders before I managed the place. One was legitimately insane and routinely threw books at me.

OKAY I HAD THE CORRECT THAN AND MY PHONE AUTOCORRECTED SIRI IS CONSTANTLY TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK SUPER DUMB ON THE INTERNET AND IT IS HURTING MY FEELINGS

You guyssss, I finally got a doggie! Went to the shelter on Monday, she was ready on Thursday. We’re getting along great, she likes the kids and she’s the sweetest thing. Meet Amy:

But they’re asking for it. They even said it phonetically. Where did they get the idea that the restaurant even served it? They MUST have seen it on the menu. I would have just asked for them to point to it. Problem solved.

There’s no way that it would take more time to have him point at a line of text on a menu than to get two managers involved to eventually decide on and approve the plan Josh came up with.

Couldn’t the server have just asked the man to point to the item he wanted on the menu?

STEVE WAS THE BEST!!!!!!!

Oh no, I love Steve! He worshiped Miranda, but also kept her grounded.

Female recreational cyclists do not generally need to push their limits, race against time and increase their adrenaline when riding rough downhill trails. They just want to enjoy the time spent in nature on the bike, and their expectations on the bike are completely different from the men’s professionals’. They look…

“ bustie…bustiyay... Boostiyay” lololll

Well for one the cheap wine people didn’t just write a goddamn novella telling you how wrong you are.

Whenever you guys make sports jokes I don’t get I become irrationally angry.

With her looks, I think she’ll find it hard to make a mistake. Some people can pull off almost any look.

You’re going to love this: