My dad would've beat the shit out of me, in the Burger King. The new laissez-faire parenting style is raising Braydens. Point finger at yourself.

I don't know but I know what sucks: Beats by Drapple.

I don't know but I know what sucks: Beats by Drapple.

OFFICIAL WRONG TAPE BLOOPER RANKINGS:

The way to look at it, I guess if you're the A's, is that it's not that much if you win a World Series and you weren't going to re-sign Cespedes after 2015.

Hey Seahawks, if you don't want to pay Marshawn Lynch, the Giants can unburden you of him.

yeah, I rank past mates on their ability to tickle my prostate while riding cowgirl.

*reads headline*

What a horribly misguided post. It doesn't mater what gender you are, Melo isn't going to pass.

"The bottom line is that the UFC is more interested in making those three letters bigger than any of its athletes because as long as the athletes aren't bigger than the brand, the UFC has the power."

God this brings back such memories. I come from a pretty wealthy family but I struggled to find my feet for a long time. Growing up, my dad would always try to get me interested in business, but I ignored his discipline and coasted throughout school.

AS FOR YOU, TODD

Yeah, you guys should replace all the section breaks in Greg's Jason Whitlock story with "AS FOR YOU, TODD."

but here anyway are his top five sickest burns:

VERY strong use of "parlay."

I don't think you get the joke; his Twitter handle is Teflon_Don9 and the number nine looks like the letter "G," and the word "dong" is a slang term for the male penis, and therefore he is asserting that nothing will stick to his human penis.