Everyone come meet the cheap-ass who orders a cup for water and then sneaks the soda from the fountain.

Well it covered the 7 point spread on the game so I’d say a lot of people will remember that $hot for a while.

I feel sorry for Dellavedova’s chairs, couch legs, and pillows if he’s unable to partially relieve built-up tension during NBA games.

I’m sad Marshawn Lynch is gone, because that means the thickest Oakland accent this side a Mac Dre album is going with him.

There are so many Raiders jerseys walking around the SB Media Center at Moscone. WHY?

That Justin Bieber is rich and famous because he’s incredibly talented, not because of the enormous publicity machine behind him.

White Dude: Hey Kawhi, I'm a big fan. Would you mind taking a picture with me?

Not fair though, for two reasons. One: as you mentioned, no one should be playing fantasy in week 17. Two: many, many people I know (myself included) rode into the playoffs in a blaze of glory at least in part BECAUSE of Bortles. Sucks for that guy... but week 17 fantasy football is insane and I do not feel bad for…

Holy fuck all of this sounds awful

This is, with out a single doubt, terrible, terrible advice. On every level.

“Movin’? Give the fuck on up and start going to Outback Stakehouse!”

Tom Breihan, everyone.

This piece was so villainous. I’ll be sure to check in tomorrow for Drew’s heroic counterpoint.

The people criticizing you are self congratulatory, libfem idiots. They are so ideologically confused that they think in order to be a feminist you have to endorse porn that sells rape fantasies to men. You’re obviously not being sex negative. You’re being rape negative and rape culture negative. Why the fuck wouldn’t…

Please remember that kink shaming is not okay

nah. fuck that. there are kinks that need to be called out and shamed. like if you get off on pretending to be a Nazi and simulating rape with your partner that's pretending to be Jewish that's fucked up and you should be made aware of that.

My cat is currently residing on my collarbones, dude has me owned

Same! I’ll be like, “DAMN, that woman has GOT to be a model!” and he’s busy looking at a tree like, “think I could climb that?!” I find it oddly comforting too.

I’m genuinely surprised about the amount of times I bring up a pretty lady and it turns out my boyfriend is eyeing pizza/dogs/games etc

Seven Bridesmaids for Four Brothers and Three Friends ends up being a less interesting musical.