You look down and see a tortoise, Melo. It's crawling toward you. You reach down and you flip the tortoise over on its back, Melo. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why is that,…

Said by Microsoft and Sony in unison?

Something of a diversion for the Persona team at Atlus, Radiant Historia is like a Chrono Trigger for the modern age. You know—time travel, strategy-packed combat system, lots of melodrama. The works. It's pretty great.

I've always thought the war conference at Bag End would have been better with a giraffe.

That's maybe on the list of the ten best photoshop jobs that have come out of this, but that's about it.

The colors on Fellowship were rebalanced and ended up kind of greenish overall. It's not aggressively bad but it's definitely there and led many people who care about such things to (a) get very angry; and (b) watch the theatrical blu-ray instead (since it has the original colors).

Who has the second-best beard in the NFL?

I was so glad I'd gotten a good deal on the 360 digital version when it dropped to $15, too. At least I got that credit for cheap.

Thus practically guaranteeing that he will be drafted by the Chargers.

Pickup artists say to target people with low self-esteem.

At some point in our lives, all of us have to make peace with the reality of competitive StarCraft.

Hey, I've got an idea. How about we hold the winter Olympics someplace where it's actually cold?

Trivia is the best because it brings out the worst in people AND it gets me free food. What else does that?

Look, if they only paid $41 million they'd never be able to attract top-tier executives.

The Sixers, meanwhile, lost by five points to a pretty bad team and didn't have a single lowlight GIF or video clip show up on the Deadspin front page during the game, so it was the best Wednesday of the last three months in Philadelphia.

Everything I read about this game makes me wish it weren't multiplayer only, or, alternately, that I weren't complete shit at multiplayer FPS.

The Yankees haven't lost a player this important since Jeter's knees and ankles retired in 2011.

Playdek has done nothing remotely like this before and it's not even "Matsuno's project" - he's basically a spokesman and adviser for the actual dev team.

If you're looking for something that gives you a completely different look and feel, try Themer.

It was a very cogent argument that even made a good point about how a team that drafts Sam could be in a better position, "distraction"-wise, than one that doesn't, because they know exactly what the story's going to be, and can plan for it. That's got to be a better situation than the one the Patriots found…