The takeaway: ALL MANSPREADERS ARE MURDERERS.

The end of this gif has me in hysterics.

THIS. Made it last night. SO GOOD. Also, no real health benefit can possibly be retained from the cauliflower.

Don’t worry about it, your baby will shit and puke all over them and you can throw them out then.

Oh it doesn’t matter what you do. I didn’t find out my baby’s sex and hours after the birth people were arriving with frilly dresses. Some of which which were admittedly adorable. People can’t help themselves, newborn clothes are like crack or Pringles or cats.

SO TRUE. Ladies got it together and men are apes.

This is just what I needed to get the taste of the patriarchy out of my mouth. (I just finished the article about the sexist time out chair).

Honestly, I read that as being your girl will be independent with a family of her own, but your son will never be able to do shit for himself. GRANTED that isn’t what the person who wrote it probably meant. They probably meant, some day your daughter is gonna have sex and then she ain’t your sweet girl any more. She…

Thank you for sharing this, although I wish I didn’t know this existed. You are 100% right: “In 18 years, these same kids will be the frat boys on the news demanding that they not be stereotyped and angrily typing #notallmen into my Twitter feed.”

Glad you moved on. Super pleased with your use of asshat. Sounds like you make good decisions all around.

I NEVER WIN ANYTHING. Thank you. First, I’d like to thank the Supreme Leader. Then of course, my husband for suggesting we name our first born Seamus. To which I said, I’m Jewish and you are Swedish, so... NO. But when I saw this fish, I knew he was Seamus. OH, and the Academy. I have to thank the Academy. Seamus…

That fish is names Seamus. Just thought you should know. He is a sad, beautiful, Irish, aquatic friend.

Do I or don’t I forward this article to the male middleaged law firm partner I work with who blots his pizza and makes fun of those who don’t? DECISIONS!

His “Hello Friend” shirts really creep me out these days.

I love science

That was my first thought before even clicking through.

That dress must be mad itchy if that is the best face she could make. Looks itchy.

I’ve been to Dachau. The snake is scarier to me too.

True story: This happened to me in the suburbs of philadelphia as a little kid. I was sitting on my front porch with the sweet-old-neighbor-lady who watched me after school. I pointed out what I thought was a big stick in the gutter. Well, that big stick flared its face up, as cobras do, and she grabbed me and ran…