For some reason the first thing that popped into my head after reading the bit about silent auction style concussion protocols was an image of Johnny Football getting drunk on the Browns sideline and putting whichever retread they’re playing ahead of him into the protocol ad infinitum until he actually gets some…

Yup. My S4 is a wagon, so I’m set there. The M3 is the fun but still practical-ish car for when I don’t need to carry a ton of shit.

If Washington fans only understood football, there would be no Washington sports fans, because who the fuck wants to watch that garbage?

As someone who owns both an M3 and an S4, I half way agree with you. No, it almost certainly won’t have the chassis balance and feel of a 5 series, but I don’t think that’s such a terrible thing. It’ll be pretty, practical, comfortable (seriously, have you sat in modern Volvo seats? They’re magic.), and potentially…

e36 M3 with a Dinan supercharger. Great handling, handsome, reliable coupe, with a big power bump over stock.

So, I get what you’re saying, I really really do. I totally agree that the Prius is a natural choice for people looking to maximize a specific kind of performance (and I agree that efficiency is a valid performance metric, albeit not my personal favorite). That’s fine.

Not according to this: http://jalopnik.com/possible-leake…

I had someone test drive my S4 as a potential first car for his 16 year old kid. I think the over/under for how long it would have taken me to total a 340hp-400lb/ft car as a 16 year old should be set at about 2 weeks.

I think I last had it listed for $8500.

You could replace “R32 Skyline” with “B5 S4” (a 6 speed wagon, no less) and it would exactly mirror my experience trying to sell one.

I gave up and kept it.

I am definitely dumber for having caught up on that. But, thanks.

7-1, but possibly undefeated?

As an American who lived in Australia for a while, this is 100% accurate (outside of major cities anyway).

Is it just me, or has the whole body/chassis been widened?!?!

Make it happen.

Porsche puts rear wipers on all kinds of stuff that’s way faster than this is. Not to mention, you know, front wipers on everything.

Is, like, anything about a 380hp, AWD sedan necessary? Nope. Does that make it not a good idea? Fuck no.

If you’re coming to a jewelry store at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, you’re probably coming to, you know, shop. Not rob the place.

Yeah, it has to be Lexus. You’re exactly right, the GS is the only think in their lineup that isn’t horrendous, and that’s only because they haven’t gotten around to ruining it yet.

Yeah, I’m not saying that this is new, or that it took him being accused of rape for me to figure that out.