or Chief Operating Oligarch at House Of Penises

Cooper is currently COO at Hop

Bill should just make eggs for the whole family. It’s the 2010s, man.

That’s what I learned in my middle school youth group at church. I’m so glad that Elizabeth Smart has spoken out against teachings like that, because it’s so important that we stop teaching religious girls that their value is solely wrapped up in their purity.

Right on, r.e. consent! I teach my three-year-old son about consent all the time. Opportunities arise all the time that are not about sex but make the point. Just this morning, for example, my son was trying to put his foot in my face repeatedly (charming! haha), and I said no. He asked why, and I explained that it’s…

I wouldn’t even call it a mistake. They’re wearing purple body paint with aluminum foil antennae - no one this side of the Muppet monster lobby ought to identify with that.

I’m a UCLA grad with a 10 year old daughter who’s an aspiring gymnast (casual fun kind, not the go live with your coach in another state kind). This is awesome and I encourage anyone who’s interested to go check out a UCLA meet, especially if you have kids. It’s super fun and the tickets are like $10. Plus it shatters…

Whitney hit the perfect balance of showcasing her voice but not making the song about herself. Most since, and especially the relative failures, have overused runs and really made the song about how great they can sing. Gaga’s was good, and pretty straightforward, but Whitney’s was still better.

I just loved that her nails were blue, her suit and eyeshadow were red, and then her hair.... HER FUCKING HAIR! was the white part of the flag. This lady. That’s some ridunculous shit there.

By the “right person”I don’t mean soulmate or anything. I don’t believe in tat. I just mean someone who is kind to you that you can imagine sharing a bed with at least sometimes.

I’m like that, too. Let’s just say my name is Julie. Jules is my nickname for friends and family, yet I get REALLY irritated when someone I barely know starts calling me that immediately. It’s like, uumm you haven’t earned it yet, buddy. This guy has done that, too. I previously called out a former hook-up on that and…

My kitty is all snuggly.

YOU GUYS YOU GUYS

I know it looks like Pinterest threw up everywhere but I'm super happy with how our nursery has been coming together. 30 weeks now and so ready to be done.

Omg. I want to be at your house right meow.

But Ivanka Trump said he’ll be “great” for women if he becomes President!

What do you mean, toots? He thinks you broads are swell. Gonna have to turn you over and teach you a lesson when you get cheeky though. It’s the only way you’ll learn.

• If you don’t wear frayed denim this week, I’ll glue headphones to your ears and play The Fray until you do.

I really believe the story about Khloe. I hate myself for it, but I really think it could be true.

I would not put it down my throat,