Thanks! So is Eggplant Friday like they post Anthony Weiner-esque crotch shots or is it like they post a picture of their dick wearing a little hat and tie? Because if it's the latter, I'm voting for that one.

The internet section makes me feel like the oldest person in the world. I'm too intimidated to shop online, and Skype sex seems like it would be hard to take seriously. What is Seamless (besides a really good Scrabble turn when you have three S's)? What's a surprise album? Throwback Thursday is the one where people…

You guys missed a huge opportunity not putting "Whining about the shittiness of Kinja" in the Internet Social division.

oh Jesus.

maybe Disney runs a special cheaters package?

Wow. He's the worst, but your former mother-in-law can go fuck herself with a cactus too.

In the summer of 2013, I had spent 8 Very Long, Very Hard years in graduate school and was a mere two weeks away from defending my Ph.D. My monogamous husband of 8.5 years went over to visit our closest couple friends' of 5 years house to drink and play video games while I worked on all of my dissertation shit.…

One Thanksgiving, about a decade ago, my grandmother was really sick and I decided to spend all day with her at the nursing home. I cooked her a special meal; all of her favorites. My then-husband (who also happened to be an abusive ass) decided to spend the day at his family's house for their annual get together.…

Reposted from last year (same question)(still gross!)

Was with him for 7 years, married for 2 — got pregnant after we got married. BUT between the time we married and I got pregnant I was diagnosed with chlamydia. OK, it was an infection — this was 1989 and I was always getting yeast infections anyway...and the doctor didn't really tell me anything other than my partner…

I received this text from my boyfriend at the time:

Mine is not interesting but I will tell it anyway.

With a lot of these people who live so long, I think there's a significant genetic component, in spite of their habits.

As for her habit being unhealthy, fuck it: if you've made it past 100, then drink, smoke, do some risky shit, whatever you want. It's not like dying at that point would be labelled "premature".

Brought to you by the Association of Small Animals Who Don't Want You To Be Mad That They Just Pooped On You.

It's not really about sweatpants, fellow ladyfriends. Some men actually like sweatpants. It's about letting ourselves go. That's the REAL cause of divorce... Because once we, as women, let ourselves go then we're not physically attractive for our men anymore, and that's the whole reason they love us!

Eva Mendes can take my sweatpants off my cold, dead body.

I'm down with pretty much anybody who doesn't use autotune at this point.

It's not late, it's just been percolating.

Well, it is something that would make many people on the spectrum profoundly uncomfortable so...