I'm sorry. I feel bad for you, and I also feel bad for this kid. She probably feels like no one wants her. Her dad sucks.

Amen. The last couple times my wife and I had company, we made a big tray of roasted veggies: parsnips, potatoes, leeks, carrots, celery, red pepper. Olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic powder (eyeballed/to taste). Roast around 400 until done. Both times our guests asked us for our "recipe" (and both sets of guests are…

I once joked with a friend that I should write a cookbook called ROAST THAT FUCKER!, which boils down to "You basically cannot fuck up any vegetable if you large dice it, put it on a sprayed cookie sheet, cover it in spices, and stick it in an oven at 350."

I don't understand this at all.

I answered a question honestly, from the perspective of someone who did this for a living. I never looked at someone as the "stingy container keeping my money from me", whatever that means. I went into work every day and tried my best to listen, assess a customer's needs, and then do my best to find what would work.

I suspect other people would think kinder things about your looks than you do. I think it's because we tend to fixate on our own flaws, but look at someone else's full face.

What is with these women? They all look fucking gorgeous without makeup. It's not fair.

It's seriously one of my favorite stories now but it was SO TRAUMATIZING back then, that woman was evil incarnate. She had to be new at it or under some sort of sales quota that she was close to missing, or maybe she was just the worst person ever? I remember I had sparkly emerald green eyeshadow up to my eyebrow. On…

Best (by which I mean worst) experience ever, I was maybe 16 or 17 and wanted a new eyeshadow. I forget what counter I went to but the woman basically did half of my face, full-on club makeup and then refused to do the other half unless I bought something. I really didn't want the $20+ eyeshadow she was pushing so I…

I'm not a sex worker or a financial advisor, but as a young woman whose parents never really talked to me about financial planning, and who had just started having to teach myself these things, I hope this fellow young woman is reaching out to financial advisors to discuss things like vanguard funds, investing, and…

Generally in Texas, those three years are referred to as "fourth grade".

We have a six flags in atlanta, does that help?

In Massachusetts, we spend a long time on our history too. But that's because we basically invented America. *flips hair*

.... how often is Ashton Kutcher in public restrooms?

In my imagination, he's so super famous they erect one whenever he has the need. (Meanwhile, since he's also Kelso in my imagination, he stands nearby and giggles at the word "erect.")

That's about the age my sister and I started doing our laundry. My parents typed up instructions in large print and taped them to the washer dryer and showed us how to sort our clothes and measure the soap etc. They supervised our laundry a lot because we couldn't always reach the stuff in the bottom of the top…

"But it's also OK if you don't. It's OK if you simply think your partner should do his shit because he understands you're in an equal partnership and agrees that it needs to be done."

BRB writing a 50 Shades rip off. "You missed a spot, Christian," I pointto three water spots on the tile. "Get the tie." "Not the tie," Christian whines. "Yes the tie. And the Windex." My Inner Goddess crosses her arms and nods her head in approval as he squirts the Windex on the tile and wipes those unsightly water…

What kind of a world do we live in where women feel they need to sex up a man to encourage him to do shit they are supposed to do in the first place? You reside there, right? Eat? Use the towels? Walk on the floor? Crap in the toilet? Yes? Then do your fucking share. You don't get a cookie, a gold star, or a blow job…