To be fair, both guys have a penchant for sticking themselves with needles

Turns out Mac Tonight has been moonlighting as a drug dealer ever since the acting well ran dry

The elephant the room here is Jason Whitlock

Actually it was a joke about blowing up a bird with a fastball, but thanks anyway!

The 1.41% of voters who didn't include Johnson are awfully bird-brained

You have to give Sanders credit for going for it after getting stopped on 3rd.

What's red, nine inches long, and wants to pump you up?

A hunter once tried to shoot Greg Howard, but he "ducked" before the bullet got there

It's almost as if Samer should have written, "You can watch video below. Notice DeSean Jackson on one knee, unfazed, as if to say, 'Yep, same old shit.'" it's so good

The team is excited because if he hadn't scored it would have gone to sudden death.

+1

Central Michigan is on its way to the Bahamas

To this day, New Year's cheer remains at large.

We're #149! We're #149! *is* pretty catchy

At least the players can fall back on their UAB degree when they go pro in something other than sports.

+1

See? A man professing his love for another man IS a distraction. QED.

Jack Johnson: ♫ I want to turn the whole thing upside down, I'll find the things they say just can't be found ♫

[eh]

"I'm not perfect, but at 42 years old I can say that I've never even been drunk. I've never smoked or done any drugs. I'm as pure as pure can be."