While I agree that the headlines are similar, I actually brainstormed this one out with a colleague (it changed several times), so it’s definitely not stolen.

Shhh, shhh, bobbies, nobody is putting duct tape on YOU, it’s just a picture, shhhhhhh....(sorry. I couldn’t resist.)

Yes, I agree. She did fill out. As we all do going from child to adult. She’s still so young—but she’s getting her big girl body now. Go girl! :-)

She “filled out” via breast implants, which she openly admits to getting.

She did fill out just a wee bit. I think she’s getting her adult size.

Perhaps we’ll get the irritated skin bikini photo tomorrow.

Seriously, if you are blasé about being on a yacht in St. Barths, you might as well just stop vacationing altogether, because there’s no pleasing you. She is just insufferable.

YOUR REAL MOTHER LEFT YOU IN A HOTEL SAFE

YOU ARE WHY WE HAVE TO HAVE ZONING LAWS AND HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATIONS, TERESA

gaaasp! it’s already drought landscaped for you!! :((((((((((

Why would you pretend you’d be redecorating?

I would pay a $20 cover charge and wait an hour for my cocktail to watch that.

Starbucks guy just set me off. I work (for over a year oh my god how/why) at a...rival coffee place also well known for their donuts (listen, I still work there so no name (yet)). The only reason I’m still sane is I severed the tendon on my thumb attempting to open a tub of hot fudge with an old fashioned can opener…

I used to work in a bank, we had another branch less than a quarter of a mile down the road. Pretty much all banks in the UK are only open 0900-1700 (if you are lucky, a lot of them close at 1600) in order to give the most coverage we opened at 0830 and closed at 1630, the other branch was open 0930-1730 so there was…

I don’t know why I wait for Mondays when after reading these my mind is flooded with rage and memories of my food service past...

Hummus. Awesome, delicious, perfect hummus.

I would have just poured the milkshake into a bag and handed it to her. And immediately dived around the side of the car before she could hurl it at me.

I’m a woman and cannot understand why it appears so many women seem to take their aggression out on innocent teenage girls. Did their husbands get caught banging a waitress?

The second story reminds me of one of my wife’s tales of waiting tables at Dead Lobster while in grad school.

I would rather stab my eyeballs with a cocktail fork than eat out on a holiday or go to a bonkers busy restaurant.