I squeaked, said, “That’s four pounds seventy”

Jesus, each of these stories should have ended with a scalding bowl of soup to the dick for the men involved.

Re: the dirty diaper story. There was kerfluffe - pretty much blown over - on my FB feed because one of the mothers on there was angry at a waitress, who got mad when the parents decided to change the baby’s diaper on the dining table.

When I worked at a craft beer/pizza joint a popular menu item was our calzones. These were huge, and made fresh to order and took a while to cook. Our menu made note of this and it was there in writing that it could take over half an hour depending on how busy we were.

Every single one

GlamGlow has all of the old people in the beauty industry so confused. I remember when they launched their first mask, people were like “LOL who starts a company based on mud.”

“COFFEE.”
“Right, so one the size of your penis coming right up, sir.” *rings up for a small*
..........

That totally reminds me of Louis C.K.’s bit where he talks about what it would be like if people had to actually finish when making that gesture. =D

I read that, but it sounded like the author is saying I volunteered which meant I would have to face the man. Its grammar makes it unclear.

There’s a restaurant here in Glasgow that is considered to be one of Glasgow’s, if not Scotland, if not one of the UK’s finest. And it’s totally not what people expect. But the food is amazing, the setting is beautiful and the staff are friendly, etc. One night, I was entertaining two colleagues of mine from over the…

Many years ago, a couple buddies and I worked at a Dunkin’ Donuts on a high traffic tourist beach. We managed to survive the summer mostly intact, but it had still been full of asshole customers.

I have enough joy in my life that I don’t complain about the dryness of drive-thru espresso drinks.

“Yes two sets of one, are you stupid in the head?”

How else are you supposed to unhook a bra?

I’m opening a bar with the sizes (from smallest to biggest):

I too have run out of fucks to give many a time...

Instant coffee and powdered milk so she could just brew it right in her mouth.

In defense of the fork lady, I am accustomed to getting forks at every store I go to. Starbucks, Target, Giant, Victoria’s Secret... It doesn’t matter. If I go into a store, I better be getting a fork!

“Halp, I have fabulous erupting out of my skin”

HALP I HAVE A METALLIC RASH AND IT’S SPREADING VERY ARTISTICALLY