I will never understand the kind of will or desire it takes to have this many children. I only have three and there are many MANY days I would like to drink myself into oblivion. I don’t, but I would like to.

Reading this made my cervix ache.

Yep, I too have never done this. I’m totally ordering that #1 Mom coffee mug now.

Well, technically they’d still be helping to keep some of their genes out of the pool if they had actually been successful at sacrificing their own offspring to the cheetahs.

They don’t just walk the cheetahs at the San Diego zoo, each cheetah also has an emotional support dog buddy assigned to each one so they aren’t constantly stressed. Same with their wolves. It’s fucking adorable as hell.

That’s true. Cheetahs are absolutely incredible in their predation habits. A sack of tender fat/bones dropped unexpectedly in front of them is going to illicit a WTF from a cheetah, as opposed to breaking out the cutlery.

I feel like yeah if he was standing a ways away and didn't know what she was doing until the kid fell in then don't charge him, but if he was standing next to her while she did and was aware of it charge him too.

I don’t understand why parents feel the need to dangle their kids over dangerous places. Seriously, people stop doing that because you keep dropping them.

I *really* hope they’re able to charge the parents.

Try getting anyone to believe that you have a black eye because your cat knocked a bottle off a shelf and onto your bed while you were sleeping. Everyone kept nodding, giving me pitying looks, and surreptitiously handing me a card with info about domestic abuse.

Because it obviously wasn’t a mouse. Why should he waste his time worrying about collateral damage? The hunt must continue.

I like how the guitar falls on him too, just to add insult to injury.

Mice can take many forms. One must always be on the alert.

Next you’re going to tell me that you don’t show your butthole to strangers by way of introduction? I’m incredulous.

Also we are clearly doing it to teach you valuable life lessons and that material possessions are not nearly as important as us getting to do whatever the fuck we want, whenever the fuck we want.

What, you guys don’t just randomly push things off of flat surfaces for no apparent reasons? I suppose you don’t rub your head and face over stuff and then claim it to be yours either. Weirdos.