And if you weigh too much for a treadmill or stair machine. And if there are no sports bras that fit you. And if everyone looks at you in horror if you go to the gym.

My city is buying special ambulances to handle people who weigh 500+ lbs.

But would more empathy and special training help them to give this advice in a kinder way, and in a manner that increases the odds that the fat patient will feel heard and respected and part of a team, rather than shamed and scorned and an object of contempt? Again, yes.

Very well put. And very classy response to silly provocation, too.

I am not on the fat-acceptance bandwagon. While we should certainly be kind and respectful to fat people, we should also be kind and respectful to addicts and those who self-harm, but in none of those cases do we pretend that these people are healthy and fine just-the-way-they-are.

You lose the internets. Keep studying for your PSATs and maybe one day you'll be less of an ignorant, typing heap of smegma.

Ditto. It was readable, the way Pringles chips are edible. Neither reflects quality, though.

I read it once, and quickly, because honestly it wasn't that great, but my takeaway was that everyone in the book was a loathesome character.

I don't disagree that these are abusive behaviours, but can you think of any feasible way to codify them into criminal law, that won't have the effect of causing way more problems than it solves? And again, why is divorce not the remedy for this? It shouldn't be illegal for one person to control the bank account any…

I want you to reread the whole thread very carefully and see if you can't distinguish between criminal abuse and meanness, as everyone else in this entire discussion has done.

Yeah, this is a huge problem. For one thing, it will require judgments about frame of mind of the accused, which is notoriously difficult to establish even when it comes to gross violence, let alone rudeness or meanness. For another, most people who emotionally abuse are themselves suffering from a personality…

Another way of putting it is, "yes, it's shitty she had eight abortions, but what non-shitty way is there of preserving access to abortions while stopping people in her particular case from having number 9?" It's not that I'm in favour of eight abortions, as such, it's just that a) slippery slopes and all and b) the…

The thing with these situations is privacy laws mean we don't know the whole story. And that's fine; that's how it should be. But there is one doctor cited who thinks the procedure is a good idea. There could be ten who think it's a terrible idea, or might be appropriate but it needs another couple of years to make…

YES. Ugh, parenting gets harder all the time.

Exactly. It's good to know who got engaged/a new job/had a baby, and convenient to be able to share your similar updates, with people who aren't a big enough part of your life to keep in touch with often and directly but are still in your thoughts.

Thanks for posting this. Most lucid and reasonable comment here, IMO.

Agreed. This is a really dangerous and invasive surgery with a non-trivial death rate (of course morbid obesity has a higher death rate, which is why in many cases doctors recommend it.) Advising delay before doing it to a prepubescent child makes a great deal of sense.

Yes. if it ends with "and she shouldn't be allowed to," I disagree. If the conclusion of that sentence is "and she shows terrible self-control, maturity and ability to plan and that disgusts me, but I can't legislate against that," I agree.

I largely agree. I can disapprove of, think poorly of, and have contempt for many choices people make. But I don't get want to make those judgments the basis of legislation, and I can't imagine circumstances in which I'd share those opinions with those friends.

Rupert is based on Andrew Parker-Bowles??? Or Jilly Cooper's first husband?