The movie you make with E.L. James's stamp of approval involves welcoming Ian Somerhalder with open arms, making sure that fans will hear all their favorite lines from the book, and finding a director and writer who are willing to go by those rules.

You win.

Fairly light spanking games, blindfolding, very mild bondage, hickeys, basic butt play ... I was an extremely vanilla and fairly sheltered teenager, and I had tried all that at 19. No, not just you. I'm kind of disturbed at all the people I know IRL who think it's deeply kinky. Anne Rice would make these people's…

Ditto. So fucking patronizing. My tastes didn't change because I had children. My energy, free time and discretionary income all plummeted, so my activities were curtailed accordingly, but I didn't start liking crap just because I gave birth.

Yeah, I thought she was reaching a bit hard for this too. If Elizabeth Berkley knew that Showgirls was going to be the first Showgirls, she might have opted out too.

the last wedding I actually "bridesmaided" for, the bride sent us links to four or five (under $50) dresses at Macys and asked if we could come to a consensus and just buy those off the rack.

I am looking forward to watching these clowns discover Natural and Logical Consequences.

And, if you're extra lucky, UTIs!

Concentrated sugar, particularly when mixed with fat the right way, lights up the same regions in the brain as heroin. Anyone who has eaten genuine New Orleans pralines will not be surprised by this. It's pure bliss per ora.

Heh. True enough.

You know, they seem to have dug in for the long haul.

I find textbooks in Canada and the UK to be pretty damn solipsistic too, to be honest. And the reason why many other countries deal with the rest of the world is at least in part because they're far too interdependent to ignore the rest of the world.

If you're taking flak, it means you're over the target :)

Well how should our children marry, if not in ways that please us and our social circle? Come on, anything else would lead to anarchy!

Sorry, it said they would vote them all out TODAY if they could.

No, I agree with you, of course it's not that simple. Also, Obama needs to work with the representatives the people elect, whatever he thinks of them. It's a lot more complicated than the simpler glosses would have it.

I saw a poll the other day that said 60% of Americans would vote out all of Congress if they could.

Am I the only parent here who's also picked out the future spouses of my kids? Just me?

I'd say it should be spankings all around, but that would just lead to a discussion of 50 Shades, which would be unconstructive, right?

Testify.