+i

Do Not Masturbate While Seated

The 0-3 Cardinals have struck out a combined 37 times in their three losses.

Those breadsticks are garbage. Cheddar Bay biscuits 4 lyfe.

“Jeem, now that we have some Thursdays off let’s take that cooking class at Weeums-Sonoma!”

Ranking root beers is something I take extremely seriously, and you have done a good job here. But you must not have been to upstate New York recently (or ever), because Saranac root beer is easily the best.

I believe Area 51 exists and we have UFOs there.

Pretty sure Jesus wouldn’t do that, either.

12. Horrific motorboating accident.

Winona steals another one

HUSS! HUSS!

Typical Mormons: the only thing getting blown is money.

“Definitely not the 7, bro”.

He was Hungary Hungary.

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

Hey woman! HEY WOMAN!

I for one wish this fellow many happy returns.

Now I’m worried that I’m going to see little bits of Alex Poythress in my next can of tuna.