You've made a mistake that many, many people have made, myself included: you've made being a "single loser" your identity.

Yeah, I don't think we're gonna see a bunch of 13 year old girls storming her model agency and shooting up the place anytime soon.

I just can't with this. You know what's disrespectful? Turning your fucking back on the Mayor of New York because you're upset that he, what? Talked about having to protect his son from police violence? Fuck right off with your jeansgate.

Something blue.

Whoa you can buy clothing that keeps your family members from touching you? Man I would have done that years ago if I knew it was possible.

I would shop there! I would LOVE to tell everyone (especially annoying family members) that my dress is from the EBOLA STORE. Maybe nobody would want to shop there with me, meaning I could try dresses on in peace without hearing my supposed loved ones judging my dress choices and body like Simon effing Cowell.

I terminated a very wanted pregnancy at 26 weeks gestation in June. My daughter had a genetic duplication and abnormalities that would have ensured that her life was brief and painful, had she even survived the rest of pregnancy and birth. If I was not extremely privileged to have excellent health insurance and enough…

I work for the California justice department and am currently accessing the site from work. So... face.

"I have an educational blog" has to be a close second to "I sell monogrammed thermoses," right?

I can't lie: I checked out as soon as I hit the word "cuddle" in the first bullet point. "Cuddle" is the "moist" of relationship words. *cringes*

Also note that the first letter of every paragraph spells out KIRBY DELAUTER. Genius.

This is exactly why I was getting mad at gamers during this whole DDoS attack against Sony and Microsoft. Yes, it sucked to not play games online for a couple days, but for crying out loud, it's such a first-world problem. We complained about "our holidays" being ruined or messed up, but we had no problem not thinking…

This is a football school. They all lie about degrees.

I went here and had to deal with penises being drawn all over my notes and my coat being shoved repeatedly down male student's pants. When I explained that this was harassment I was told to get a sense of humour.

And waste tomatoes?

But the "free speech means they can't be punished" people are my favorite! In the same way that slamming my head in a door for an hour is my favorite.

"Make them read the posts publicly to their assembled classmates. In a room. Live."

I used to work at an "Italian" restaurant which I won't name—rhymes with "Shmolive Garden"

I really wish they wouldn't call Transformers "Trannies #4"