"Remember the big Folk Music Scare of the 60's? That shit almost caught on!" is still an in-joke in my family. Funniest routine ever.

I was a sub for one semester. Longest 5 months of my LIFE. I have nothing but respect for what teachers put up with today.

back when dinosaurs ruled the earth (1970's) we assembled a whole Volkswagen bug indoors. Long before that movie (Simon Birch?) did it. Only we didn't do it in the gym, we did it in the principle's office. We had to put his desk on the car's roof, because the car took up almost all the floor space. For punishment he…

white wedding dress: hand wash in Woolite and cold water in the bathtub. Worked like a frickin charm. The thing had seed beads everywhere and we didn't lose a one. Was able to resell it for almost as much as we paid new for it.

anyone else notice the round pedestal they're dancing on looks like the Frozen version of the tutorial Stations of Serenity from Kingdom Hearts games?

I'm pretty sure that's Alan Moore, not Jesus.

oh great, the only known cure for the "It's a Small World" earworm is "Happy Trails" but you have to start with the actual bumba deeda bumba deeda bumba deeda deeda happy trails to youuuuuu until we meeeet agaiiiinnn....

and yet they put the notes inside COLORED eggs. If they were really hardcore they'd insist only on white eggs.

so which was the twin with the hedgehog named Spiny Norman?

I'm old enough to remember that Jelly Belly got put on the fucking MAP by none other than Really Most Sincerely Dead Douchemander In Chief Ronald Reagan. He did everything but paid ads for the damn things. They were everywhere. So yeah, not surprised at this. Unfortunately.

Wait, she's not dead yet? She was older than God's parents when I first heard her name when I was a kid.

That's right! Cocks are not a game! They are SRS Procreation BIZNESS!

the answer to "what if I got knocked off the horse" was "well I guess you better not let them knock you off then, huh?"

of course cavalry wore heels, it kept them able to stay in the saddle by using them to hook the stirrups. Infantry, however, nope.

nah, that much fanning would have just made it burn faster.

brb buying stock in Orville Redenbacher

sorry but this dude reminds me of the ep of MST3K "Manhunt In Space" (featuring eps of the old Rocky Jones serials) where during one of the host segments Rocky's copilot Winky, himself a self described lothario, is revealed to be living in his mom's basement in Wisconsin (and not his rocket ship) while he's protesting…

yes clearly she's all emotional and stuff, look how she broke down into jello when she suddenly ended up first female mayor of San Francisco after George Moscone and Harvey Milk were assassinated by right wing nutjob Dan White in their own fricking city hall offices OH WAIT

Fond memories of sitting in the front seat of my grandparents' Buick, on that armrest thing that doubled as a kid's seat right in the middle of the bench... no seatbelt, no carseat... now of course I'm scared to get into a frickin cab without fastening the seatbelt and hanging onto the Jesus bar in the back seat.

yep, me too