I'm an atheist and I approve this joke.

Its even more fun to catch Mr Lizard in a pair of "Balls falling through the holes" underwear. Give new meaning to the phrase "Balls to the Wall". Usually during this process, I can render them unwearable. Its important to note the seams of "tighty whiteys" are almost impossible to tear thru, saftey scissors are…

I call it the Wedgie Theorem: Since your knickers are going to get wedged up between your cheeks (as it were), the question becomes: Do you want grannie or bikini or a butt floss level of fabric in there?

Props to you kewl mom! Did she blush when you had this conversation? I know I did!

Please do buy her that vibrator! It cannot hurt and it may help. My daughter is 9 & has been masturbating since 5 (That I know of)

And the shriek you make when yer ass hits the cold bowl/water will wake that offender right the hell up. If you're lucky (I was) this unfortunate occurrence NEVER happens again

You may need a long torso suit. Even if you're on the short side - I do. I'm 5'6" (1.65)M and leggy but still need a long torso suit. They're a bit hard to find, but the no wedgies is soo worth it!

Is it odd that I've already had this convo with the Cosmette Lizard, who is almost but not quite 9?

Oh my! The sweater needs more holes!

5'4" & 105# makes for a BMI of 18. 18.5 is the cutoff used by NIH for under weight. WW uses BMI of 20 as the lower end of what is a healthy weight. At 5'4" the weights would be 108 & 116. I am 3" taller and almost 40# heavier (BMI 22.2) and I get skinny shamed on a regular basis. I get "Put away your guns", too.

Bull. Your BMI is 19.1. You might be confusing BMI with body fat calcs.

That's because birds are velociraptors!

A lot of the Sorel types have removable liners, so those you just replace the liners and move the disgustingness to the bin.

Square shoulders, it helps if they're broad, too.

One Abortion (1985), 2 marriages (1991, 2003), 1 child (2005) zero regrets, and zero breast cancer later (WITH a familial history of BC) - Take that anecdata and shove it CPCs!

That's what elbows are for!! Also, I have a frozen shoulder that has a screwy range of motion, always good for giving a stranger a whack. Then a sheepish smile and "Sorry about that, my shoulder is frozen"

Item: Weight Watchers does not require you to buy their food. And as other posters have pointed out, their food, in whatever category, isn't great. While their frozen entrees do have a lot of sodium, and you might retain some water due to it; I believe if the sodium content was the sole reason for your 10 pound…

Hate to say this, but she's right. Assuming 2 sq ft per person, 1ft deep x 2 wide,(yeah, yeah I know, but its an average) 7 billion folks - works out to 14billion sq ft or 502.18 sq miles - Jacksonville has 767 sq miles of land area.

And don't forget the men with wide stances, too! Let's give the GOP blue balls!

When I had shoulder length hair, I'd grab a low pony tail and twist it up to the end. At the top of my head I'd fold over the twisted pony tail and tuck it under the bottom half of the pony tail (French Twist). Then I'd grab one of my sticks and weave it thru the hair. When I felt the tug at my temples I know I had…