We have, for the first time, a legitimate entry for "IS THIS A DICK OR WHAT?"

Hey guys, I'm here for the Tony Stewart joeks, so let 'em rip!

This is your multi-million dollar athletic investment. And by the looks of his smirk, no one finds it more hilarious than Colon himself.

Queen Demetriax strikes again!

If AA didn't take it seriously, and then something bad DID happen, then you'd have another August-6-memorandum situation, and fucking NOBODY wants to ride THAT ferris wheel with GWB.

Do I even have to point out that the only reason he got ALL the letters is because this bonehead was spelling out "MYTHOLOGICAL" and got lucky that there was also a "C" in "ACHILLES?" If he knew "ACHILLES"—be it literarily, anatomically, or even phonetically, he'd have no reason to pursue a few hundred extra bucks…

Look at everyone from Chicago boo-hooing about a cynical Chicago sportswriter.

Cinderella, your slipper is found.

You see, it's funny, because it's likely not true.

Melissa McCarthy. Ducks fan.

It's all fun and games until people start taking Shannon Sharpe seriously as a broadcaster.

He's the quarterback the NFL deserves, but not the one it needs right now...

"No, no, I mean that schmutz on top of the water."

HEY DONT—GIT BACK—ah, fuck it.

I don't see any reason to drag the husband into all of this.

"Equipment." LOL

Honestly, I can't hate on that reason, and it actually makes more sense to me than using a gym for what it's meant for. I mean, if you can also get a workout in, then hey, bonus.

You see, it's funny, because you read it in a different context from what we otherwise know to be true.

Gyms. LOL. Keep spending that money, dummies.

I DID NOT ANTICIPATE THIS LEVEL OF BRUTALITY.

Sem Elem? The fonn foaks ov' at Rool Forms are naht immused, hon.