Actually, it's The, Human, The.
CountDriveula
CountDriveula
'Where ya headed, MEAT BAG?'
"Flogged Horse, this is Metal Head. I'm eastbound and down; got those childhood-killing nerd tears you been askin' for. Copy?"
When I moved to Georgia in 1995, I met a woman named Laura (not her real name) via an AOL chat room. After a few weeks, she asked if we could meet IRL. I agreed and we decided to have dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. We hit it off, and began dating, exclusively, or so I thought.
I found a positive pregnancy test in the bathroom wastebasket. Two years after my vasectomy.
Oh you guys. I dated a narcissist for a million years and this was definitely the worst day ever. We had a long distance thing and it had gone from "crazy fun casual" to "super romance sweeping off feet" over a few months. I was flying out to see him every school break, I was so so so IN LOVE.
My husband of three years started watching My Little Pony. And I was like...okay. Whatever. That's fine. Until he started verging into brony territory. And then I got a bit concerned.
It was Thanksgiving morning. I woke up early to check on the turkey, since I was going all out and going big for TGiving for the first time ever. I had questions that I needed to google, so I grabbed my laptop and opened it up. Sometimes my boyfriend, at the time, would use my computer to upload all his graffiti…
Did he by any chance hate mondays?
Though I've never been cheated on, my mother cheated on my father while she was in college. He was working multiple jobs (several hours away from campus) to help put her through school and one night, after she had said she was missing him all week, he decided to surprise her with flowers. He drove down after work…
One Thanksgiving, about a decade ago, my grandmother was really sick and I decided to spend all day with her at the nursing home. I cooked her a special meal; all of her favorites. My then-husband (who also happened to be an abusive ass) decided to spend the day at his family's house for their annual get together.…
Here's one for you. I was married for 15 years. I went looking for a certain jpeg on my computer and couldn't remember the name of it, but I knew I had emailed it to someone lately. So I just searched the entire outgoing stream for any jpeg that was emailed withing a few months.
Xofcurrentstuff Logs in to Facebook,
This isn't exactly cheating but it's pretty awful. About ten years ago my Mom was dating an Indian guy. When his mother died, he went back to India the funeral, stopped calling her and by the time she finally got ahold of him he had an arranged marriage forced upon him by his father and moved to China. My poor Mom…
I received this text from my boyfriend at the time:
When she told me, over the phone, she was pregnant, it wasn't mine, and she was marrying her new boyfriend that weekend. That was literally the only time I broke something out of anger.
Kojima bought out Hollywood and is using every living actor (and 3 guest dead actors) to create a 79-hour feature length Metal Gear Solid film.
I fixed it.