Step four; speak into the magic voice-transmitting box the following question; “how high is the giant fire god in the sky, right now, from where you are?” If their answer is at all different from where *you* judge the fire god to be in the sky, then you have your answer. If the Earth is flat, then you should both see…

Every few years I buy a new phone and when it’s an iPhone, right out of the box, bookmarks, mail, contacts just work.

If you want stability, security, and great performance you are going to have to sacrifice the ability to “hack” the system and do as you please.

Interoperability benefits everyone ESPECIALLY Apple but jeeze they’re so stubborn and awful and backwards. 

I’d argue someone who bought the game and refuses to play it even though they own it is mostly only punishing themselves. But at this point (assuming still that you already bought it) the only thing you could do to punish them is to chew up a tiny bit of their server resources by actually playing the game!

Assuming you already bought it under false pretenses, whether or not you play the game doesn’t really change the world at this point. You might as well enjoy it, no one’s going to judge you!

Accepting other people’s exploitive behaviour and twisting it all to interpret it as your own personality flaw is not helping you or them.

It’s important to reiterate whenever this type of article comes up that it’s great if you don’t *need* any of this advice! Socializing at work shouldn’t be construed as something people have to do or else they’re somehow less of a person.

From personal experience, a lot of the time this sort of crap is a result of some respected designer getting away with nonsense due to seniority or reputation rather than being judged on their actual ideas. They propose stupid concepts or designs and everyone else either shuts up or has no power to challenge because…

Yeah exactly - that’s the key, be sincere. Don’t lie about your feelings and feign excitement when you’re invited. Don’t make fake excuses. Don’t be a no-show if you say you’ll go.

You could do that but where’s the joy in killing it with fire?

Well see, as much as I love great farts, you mistook me for wanting parties as well. I’m the party that says no to parties so no parties party since they have no parties.

If people stopped going just because they felt obligated, people would stop having parties most people don’t actually want to go to!

Oh yeah, I’m on your side! I develop software for a living, hell, no one is probably more subject to product criticism than software devs. We get blasted from artistic and technical and financial perspectives and our peers and users and stakeholders day in and day out, we’re not shielded by *any* sort of respectful…

Just because I can’t build play Wonderwall on the guitar doesn’t mean I can’t say that whoever is playing it is a scumbag Lothario!

Right after the morning poop, thanks for asking!

Only a bit of a fool bases their expectations for a game on its selling price.

Yeah this is totally my sentiment.

Hey! I would love more of these How I Work articles on people who aren’t executives.

Also if a young deer comes up to you in a convenience store parking lot, hands you money and asks you to buy cigarettes for him because his dad sent him to get some, don’t even fall for that.