you should answer for your own hang-ups

Waiter: Can I start you off with something to drink sir?

BoC: Excuse me, waiter, I'll have an Arnold Palmer.

Yet here you are, commenting on an article about Jwoww.

My shower has no caulking, so any water that hits the side or back wall flows under the shower and across the bathroom floor. So my shower curtain is actually kind of wasteful, if you think about it.

You don't hand the Olympics to anyone. You sell them.

Brian Cazeneuve: Bruce, dude, you'd better cool it with the criticism. You know what happens to journalists here. You're heading down a slippery slope.

You've been chosen to represent your country at the Winter Olympics in Sochi. But first, you have to take a hellacious dump. Choice: Do you flush the toilet paper? (go to page 2) Or: Do you place the toilet paper in the bin? (go to page 3)

someone had left an indeterminate amount of semen on the sheets of the second bed, and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn't come back.

It does not bode well that the 'missing' dog has two different names and they're both food.

"and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn't come back."
This seems to be Russia's solution to everything.

...not all man holes are always covered

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.

Whenever a woman has sat on my lap, I've certainly never felt as though I were being made less for it.

But what if we don't want her?

- Daddy, what do you do when you go to work?

Sorry Greg, I love this piece but I have to side with Kayla on this particular issue. Were it me, I'd honour her request.

I want to stick up for Kayla a bit here, because given Sherman's energy in the moment it's clear Andrews was afraid, not of Sherman, but that he might say something either profane or derogatory toward her employer. He very easily could have been complaining about, say, something Troy Aikman said about him. An unspoken…

What is the point of posting this? Am I supposed to laugh at Knapp's (fairly reasonable) request? It's not like she had a lawyer accuse you of libel or some other overreaction.

I enjoy the implication that if you don't like Kanye or consider him a genius then it's obviously because he's black...not because he's an egotistical asshole who makes music that not everybody likes