Okay, here’s a theory. I haven’t read everything the Internet has had a chance to churn out over the last 24 hours, so there’s a good chance someone has already posited this one, but I like it, so I’m going to run with it here...

“Haha!  Bi-curious...”

I can’t tell if this is a real question. I honestly can’t. Just in case it is...

I would not have guessed that this was supposed to be Spock if I wasn’t told by the article.

Yeah, I agree. I can’t remember what the actual subject matter of the joke was, but my wife and I were sitting through some comedian’s weak material making fun of...someone, I guess...and I remember saying to my wife, “Y’know, I don’t even need to make a decision as to whether or not this offends me. I’ve been…

Yup, that’s a pretty good example. When your “best” answer to a question like that is, “I’ll do whatever the committee wants,” knowing full well that a Republican-led committee is never, ever going to call for a real investigation, then what you’ve given is a non-answer that has only the barest patina of actual…

Yeeeeah, but the allegation isn’t false. Or, at least, the truth is close enough to the accusation that it doesn’t really matter. Either way, you could have watched Kavanaugh’s testimony with very little context and no prior knowledge of the subject matter, and it still would have been apparent that he was lying. You…

No, but in a way, we’re all Gary now...

Every time that man steps up to a podium to speak in front of other world leaders, I feel like I’m dining out with the whole family at Applebee’s or something, and our racist, inappropriate, dementia-stricken grandfather is there with us, and we’re all just white-knuckling it through dinner, side-eyeing each other,…

Yeah, he gets a touch hyperbolic to make his point, taking a swipe at small breweries with: “Now, it seems every city, town and hamlet I visit has its own beer made by locals: Specialty beers, microbrews, craft beers made by community artisans. And I have to tell you, without exception, they’re all bad.”

This is a useful brain hack for when you’re having a super hard time staying present. Just say what you’re doing, either silently or out loud.

1.) That’s kind of debatable, since there’s no way to tell how much of one rationale really predominates over the others. Maybe jail to me is more about getting dangerous people off the streets. Maybe to you, it’s more about making them pay for what they did. Maybe to the guy next to us, it’s about sending a message…

I would actually love that. Like, if all the actual action takes place in the first fifteen minutes, and the remaining two hours of the film is dedicated to Carol standing trial for punching the head right off an innocent old lady, including her futile attempts to explain shape-shifting aliens to a disbelieving 1990s…

I get that you’re in the field (Internet aside, I’ll take you at your word on that), but you’re missing the general point I was making, choosing to focus on extremely specific examples to try to make your own, and ignoring the part of my comment that made the distinction between judicial philosophy and practical…

No, that’s not true. The purposes are the same. The sentencing is different based on notions surrounding a child’s agency and presumptions regarding their ability to reform, but the rationales are identical.

Hey, I’m not one to overgeneralize, but there’s a reason France’s official national mascot* is a rapist.

Every time I find myself enjoying watching Ezra Miller in a role, I get a flashback to that sex scene in Trainwreck and him talking about his “botch,” and it takes me right out of it. I get how the scene is supposed to be funny, but I get so squicked out by it, the best way I can think of to describe the sensation is…

Traveling with very small children? Buy the travel insurance that lets you cancel in the event of illness or emergency.

Incorrect. What you are witnessing here is a prime example of the lackadaisical, low-stakes drift racing that is plaguing America’s streets.

That’s a fair point. I also wonder how worried Disney might be about the entire cast revolting. Obviously, legally binding contracts are extremely persuasive, and I have little doubt that at the end of the day, all of the cast members will reluctantly show up (even Bautista). However, a quarter billion dollars is a lot…