Also, Elizabeth Hurley.

Ah, dental dams. The most dust-covered, cobweb-ridden jar at the college health clinic.

Haha. It reminds me of one of the first times I got drunk with my little brother and decided to impart some wisdom.

All "wife beaters" are white. Any other color, and it's just a tank top, my friend.

No. What you're describing is called a "hypnic jerk," and while there's no universal consensus on what actually causes that reaction, nobody seriously believes that it's because your (not you're) heart rate is too low.

That's what I was trying to figure out.

Most of these problems go away if you just think of X-Men: First Class as a reboot and ignore all the movies that came before it.

You know what the previous Star Trek could have used?

"This close, they always look like a landscape, but nope, you're looking at balls."

Remember the $999 iPhone app "I Am Rich" that was just a functionless* red diamond icon?

Haha. I'd forgotten about that. Man, I need to re-watch that movie.

"Maybe I'm still reeling from the horribleness of the first half of season 2, when people were literally walking around saying 'I AM SAD BECAUSE THERE ARE ZOMBIES' all the time . . ."

Ah, the future. Where all the badasses wear leather dusters...

Ah, I went to UVA and grew up an hour away from C'ville. I'm...wholly unsurprised.

No, I wasn't implying that you're defensive of Chris Brown. My original point is that it's silly to argue that celebrities and other public figures should be free to engage in malicious acts free from widespread scrutiny or comment, especially when those acts take place in the public eye. I went with the dramatic…

"I realize that these are hyperbolic examples"

This reminds me of a friend who worked as a counselor in a camp for children/teens with mental disabilities. Apparently, one of the biggest challenges was keeping the boys and the girls from going at it all the time. Even though they had the requisite hardware and the hormonal inclinations, they didn't have the…