Huh, my favourite magician has always been Harry Houdidn’tgrabmyass.

San Andreas: “this is absolutely one of the best movies that came out in 2015"

Can you please SHUT THE FUCK UP and let women talk about what they know and live?

Nah, it makes perfect sense. Their stance on abortion is: “you should have kept your legs closed slut! You shouldn’t be able escape the consequences of your sin.” Plus, they HATE that the country isn’t as religious as it used to be, so they’ll take any excuse to turn the country back into the Andy Griffith Show. Take…

“Don’t make a scene!” Translation: “Don’t let others become aware of my shortcomings in public!”

• Megyn Kelly asked Valerie Bertinelli, “What is muddling?”

Dotard is an example of a word that’s done an amazing job that is being recognized more and more, I notice.

As they say on Jez, no one cares about your boner.

The show return I’m most looking forward to this fall is The Good Place.

Yeah, he’s an acolyte of Ledger’s Joker. 

“Just think of California, and that wonderful community property law....”

“I’m not saying a word, not a SINGLE word, BUT IF HE WANTS TO MAKE A NINNY OF HIMSELF IT’S HIS AFFAIR”.

Feel free to vomit as much as you want, bitch. Because the rest of us who vomit every time Republicans fucking celebrate when our children are shot dead by the police, support racist gerrymandering, support a president with a long and storied history of racial discrimination, make life hell on earth for immigrants,…

It give Huckleberry two additional days to work on her “perplexed cow” face.

You’re definitely not the only one any more.

There, FTFY.

That’s why he and Mel only have one kid

Gorka is what happenes when Stephen Segal’s pony tail and Herman Goering have a baby with fetal alcohol syndrome. I could not agree with you more.

Bury them at sea like Bin Ladin so their gravesites don’t draw a terrorist presence.