Esther, what are you sitting here slandering Hershey’s chocolate as the worst Halloween candy when Charleston Chew, Good & Plenty, Bit-o-Honey and Necco Wafers are floating around? Not to say anything of raisins!

If Hersheys is the worst you can conjure, you grew up in some high end trick or treating territory.

American fool, Russian Olympic Committee already is crossbreed spider and human man. We call him человек и паук and all nations will tremble before him!

Yeah, but can they get past the moat gators?

WHY ARE “RECENT VIDEOS FROM DEADSPIN” AUTO-PLAYING. MAKE IT STOP. I AM SO FUCKING DONE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST QUIT RUINING DEADSPIN.

Running a marathon distance is sort of the definition of running a marathon. 

Yes, really. The point of choosing this course, of getting together a team to give him favorable conditions that are all but categorically impossible in an open race, intentionally creating better-than-ideal conditions is to see if, even under those constraints, a marathon under 2 hours was at all possible. When you…

“If the key works Monday, I’ll keep working.”

Who was holding on to his beer?

An underrated sports joy is being the visiting fans and having the stadium ring out with “DE=FENSE” when the home QB is on the field.

Khalil Mack was also an unannounced guest when he came in to sack Cousins on air because there was no one who bothered to stop him.

What the fuck is with the shitty tone of this article? This may have been the best opportunity to achieve a life-altering accomplishment, a true dream, and it has been lost in the cruelest way possible. Will a chance like this ever come up again?

The actual Tomsula Index is a list of businesses that will let you use their bathroom without having to buy anything. 

Oh fuck off. I’ve never watched GOT but I’ve seen him in plenty of other roles and he’s a phenomenal actor. I do know that like it or not that show wouldn’t have been NEARLY the success it was during its run without his charming ass in it. So that’s literally the only GOT Emmy I’m OK with.

“Look, we get it, he doesn’t…

I smell a rat.

As a Cowboys fan, of course I think Romo was the better overall QB because I’m a dumb homer and also there’s tons of stats that back that up, but obviously Eli has the two Super Bowl wins and in the end that’s really all that matters.

Detroit, because they are probably the largest city without a professional football team.

My girlfriend’s sister had mono when we were all in college. I was terrified I’d get it because my girlfriend was the super jealous type and she would have accused me of kissing her sister or something. And the last thing I’d want is my girlfriend yelling at me because then my wife would find out.

That’s the joke........

Not the Antonio Brown come back story I expected.