You know how fortune cookies are mildly funnier when you add "...in bed" to the end of the fortune?

My point clear and cutting, and was directed at your hilarious statement that you just hated watching people stand in line for 30 minutes. Which is stupid for a few reasons, not least of which is that you have to do that exact same thing at any other airline waiting to board.

Yes. As you read, I indicated my experience was 10 years ago. I had not implied it was like that now.

watching them? Yes. That does sound awful. For reasons nothing to do with Southwest.

If you use a fitbit, are as forgetful as I am, and want to lose your mind, purchase "Fitbit Finder." It's nice to combine the traditional not finding shit self hatred with the inital app-driven dreams you will do so. This POS app will help you towards that state of mind many times.

FWIW, I would probably go completely apeshit on a consultant who used the phrase "breaking down custom component costs" and then tried to use that as a rationalization for an incremental cost.

This is one of my absolute all time time work axioms. I used to lead a global professional services team and I refused to let them quote in whole numbers. It was never 150 an hour, it was 157. And yeah, they were beat down way less readily than if they did the round number route. I was militant about this.

In fairness I will say that the biggest openly dick behaviors I experienced were at Schipol and de Gaulle plane loads. The same type of scrums, but this time with people who openly hate Americans.

It's interesting to me that other airlines haven't picked up on the common sense of the cattle chutes. It's just calm...that whole thing (and I'm guilty too) of lining up 30 feet off the gate even though you're not a child, needing assistance, in first class, in boarding group A, B, etc...

Yes. It's too bad he missed the recent "three socks" article. That looked comfortable, and didn't look like it would skin your cock with metal.

Worst boarding experience while also being the most thrilling? Boarding a 747 in Beijing in the early 2000s. Plane was late, so they wanted to go fast...some kind of bell rung at the ticketing counter and there was an immediate mosh pit of a few hundred jammed up to get through the door. Go through the ticketing,…

I'm a huge fan of Southwest Airline's "cattle chute" method, even if I feel like I'm in a cattle chute. I think it's wrong to characterize this as a free-for-all, even if seats aren't assigned, because there absolutely is conformity (and relative fairness) to how those seats are assigned.

What kind of parent am I? A flawed one. But a fucking good one because I sweat every day that I'm not a good one.

I hear you and agree with you re: role models. Honestly, in our house there's no jerseys, posters, nor locks of HOF Viking hair in our house. We live in MN, I'm lucky enough to have lived here only 15 years so my intro to the Vikings was the '98 spectacle of Fuck Gary Anderson. So I started suspicious. And the…

Hey folks. Are you a parent like me who spent the week explaining to your young (and in my case, MN located) children in the very gentlest ways that a hero to them is actually a wet bag of shit who makes kids bleed? And maybe just sick of professional sports altogether?

You're right, it's pretty amusing to see the repetition...but geez the guy is so brilliant and his take downs really are epic, and fuck Sean Hannity. I seriously believe he's about the best social commentator since Bill Hicks, and maybe even since Will Rogers.

Girlfriend I always wanted to have, girlfriend I usually had, and then the one black guy at my high school just taking in all the white people around him.

It's really too bad this is buried so deep in the pending shit. This is 10x better than most of the "official" commentariat...well done!

I hate to pull the "there are kids starving in Africa" bit...but the truly stupid thing is that someone has $3,000 to spend on this. Who cares about anybody else involved. Fuck this bidder.

Fuck Gary Anderson.