THE KING AND THE COUCH

Wait...huh?

Good points, thank you!

He wears a Speedo, a headband, and a big good watch. People may just think he's Rodney Dangerfield's character from Back To School.

Oh, I don't know that most (either male or female) can have "both"...I think it's probably a scale of trade-offs.

Ween did this in 1994!

Fusion cartridges are a great example of an outstanding product built and priced by a company who is very aware of how awesome they are.

Good post. Don't feel guilty. All the cost-benefit analysis and fucking game theory espoused in these articles tends to leave out the remarkable benefit* realized by having and raising children. We gave up a lot** to have kids and one career. We got a lot in return.

Well, he made good time and he obviously picked up some clothing...but where the fuck is the Alamo Golf Club flag?

On accident. It was a bad ricochet.

+1 Awesome.

Go easy on yourself next time, brah. Just keep your phone in portrait mode so Malone's penis is not in the frame.

A good trick, when being photographed with a small fish, is to hold it at arms' length towards the camera. Magnifies things a bit for bullshitting later.

Guessing this is just a bunch of guys trying to impress women by bragging about how long their small intestines are.

I am pretty sure the antagonist in "Fleet of foot. Fleet of fist." is actually one of those fainting goats. That guy is adorable!

Briefly consider a picture of someone moderately attractive.

All a person would have to do to make their own "[blank]" would be fold an [blank] in half and put some crap in it and dip it in some syrup. Anyone with a sink full of dishes and a freezer full of one-step breakfast food could have figured this out.

That is the ugliest fake vagina I have ever seen.

Your Old Man hates gay people.

That is outstanding. I am not a doctor, but since they are always terminal cases, I absolutely will volunteer if I ever get That Call.