If I recall !!! can be searched as chk-chk-chk or something like that?

Last week I went through the metal detector at the court house and the guard handed me my stuff and said, “There ya go, maestro.”

America’s last great vice? What about voting against one’s self interest? That still seems to turn a lot of people on.

It’s the most common first name in the world.

Depressing? You must not have made it to the end where he talks about Twisted Metal 2!

There’s a greater than 0% chance that Elway thought he was signing Shane Falco. 

John Elway: We’ve hired a new coach, and he was the best in the league last year!

As opposed to We Bear Bear fans.

Is it sad that I’m also looking forward to the first Jambaroo of the Season having a Sunday Movie Recommendation for a team that’s NOT THE BROWNS?!?!?

hiring this guy as bullpen coach was a mistake

This bird is really hoping you didn’t notice that fart.

Pretty pumped that we’re changing who the most famous pitcher named Rocker is.

goku and piccolo going to driving school is the best DBZ episode and anyone who disagrees is just wrong.

Vampire Weekend’s discography is the official soundtrack of gentrification  

I’m very happy to see this, as it is something that I think we need more of in professional sports. And yet I also feel like the Leeds manager should be immediately fired (out of a cannon into the Sun).

I was already 20 when Ichiro joined MLB and I think I’d thought I was years past the part of my life where a professional athlete could ever be the kind of immortal, larger-than-life figure that, say, Michael Jordan or Lawrence Taylor or Martina Navratilova had seemed to be when I was a kid. But Ichiro was—and in lots…

Ichiro is my favorite player who has never played for my team and it’s not even close.

“Nice tits!”