Make friends with anyone in the food and bev industry. Chefs especially.

Good God.

Attendance at Astros games is just fucking soaring.

All ball! So did the guy denied make the foul shots?

God fucking damnit. Our students/alumni just couldn't be classy and shut the fuck up could they?

"Like a turtle! LIKE A TOITLE!"

At what point does a guy shooting at police on live TV stop being a "suspect"?

He did drop the pen.

I'm surprised his collar bones didn't snap in half as he signed.

Confusing list. I expected him to use bullets.

Jeff Samarzdjja looks smarter and smarter all the time.

Imagine if you had to buy alcohol the way you buy weed:

Met him a couple times. Great guy and couldn't be nicer. But sometimes life doesn't care about that. Locker is retiring at 26 and guys like Greg Hardy and Adrian Peterson are actively being pursued across the league. Such is life.

I cannot unsee that. Fuck you.

Stephen A. Smith is going to blow a gasket when learns Chip is bringing in Oklahoma players now.

If this comment gets 500 stars, it won't be enough.

Finally, someone to throw to on the goal line.

I originally thought "Kiss" was a typo, but changed my mind once I found out that Hernandez was unsuccessful.