Not having a NFL employee penis in it is a weird feeling for King.

On the upside, Rahier earned a promotion to AA.

A month-long non-sexual relationship?

This is in contrast to joining the Angels, where you get three texts asking if you know where Josh Hamilton is.

To be fair, I think a dog has every right to root against Michael Vick.

I think they put a white guy on there to remind everyone it's not a leap year.

God I wish this paleo-diet fad would just fucking die already.

A lot of things make a lot of sense now, though, don't they?

I thought In-n-Out wasn't allowed at Baylor.

Accomplice: Ok Aaron, in and out, no evidence. We hit the target, and leave.

Give him a break, his wife died and his only friend is a chubby boy scout.

Clearly, he's conquered withdrawal.

I'm all for the convenience, but I was kinda looking forward to the whole "jerk it in a designated medical jerking room" situation.

This is piss poor execution. A toss is never supposed to hit the B gap.

Looks like Detroit still has a crack problem.

He was having trouble finding Nemo's. Got a little confused where to look.

And if you go to law school, there's a good chance you will work for a douchebag like this. He/She will expect you to act the same way. You will be forced to say stupid things like "I can't agree to a 1-day extension because my boss will be pissed even though I know the judge will grant any motion for an extension."…

Yes, this is law school and law school students, in a fortune cookie shell.

Why did your law school turn out so many Chinese restaurant founders?