Being 85.

For part two, I updated some of the material, added a few jokes

+1

"The fuck is a private jet?"

the man who is accused of "pressing his testicles on the neck of an unconscious LSU fan"

To further celebrate this reduction in available yard space, the team has scheduled Jaycee Dugard to throw out the first pitch.

Random basketball tidbit that's been bothering me awhile: if a player gets fouled on a shot attempt that, if made, would have resulted in an assist, and then goes on to hit both FT's, why the fuck does that not still count as an assist?

Guitars!?! We don't need no stinkin' guitars!

"awful awful drunken mistake, but damn ... what an asshole."

WIZ111!11!11!

It’s Been Almost A Year Since His Last Sentence

+1

"It's...it's beautiful."

"Am I sick? Are we all sick?"

Bahhhh.

Good luck to my fellow Deadspinners about to take this Jeopardy! test. May the questions on ballet and theater be few and far between.

Beautiful work.

@Raysism

Ahem.

Please stop calling Highlights, Magic.