I actually am. I've written two things for the main page, and writing for the sub-site effectively counts as a main page writer. I mean...they ARE paying me to do this, so...

Yes, yes, yes and yes . . .

. . . but more importantly, why are you not a main page writer? I mean I love your stuff wherever it is but your articles are always so well researched, punchy and gripping. MAIN PAGE FOR MR PINKHAM!!!!!111

No, they're not. They're obviously not keepers, they're vectors that will expose you to Nickelback. That's like being friends with someone with TB because they cough on people and don't give a fuck, except Nickelback is more actively malevolent than infectious diseases.

You know what? I would go out of my way to be friends with anyone who admits to liking Nickelback. Not because Nickelback isn't a terrible band, but because anyone who admits to liking Nickelback in this day and age is a person who doesn't give a fuck whether people think s/he's cool. And people like that are keepers.

As a native New Yorker who still lives here, I'd like to point out that the disease that you highlight :

This is how I feel. I'm married now but before marriage, oral sex was something more of a sacred thing in relationships. After a few months of dating I would give blowjobs and then basically hop down on my knees daily after that. lol. I just thoroughly enjoy oral sex- even more so now that I'm married (for the past 12…

Holy shit, she's 33 years old?! Wow. She doesn't look a day over 2. Good for her.

Do you like the outside of a grilled cheese sandwich? Then you like fried bread. Fried bread is awesome.

I don't understand fried bread, but I think I really want to.

I refuse to acknowledge that is food.

This was just pointed out to me elsewhere and I just fixed it. Christ, but I'm tired today.

Thanks. My biggest surprise about the comments is how many people stripped Allen of his agency in the process of empathizing with him.

Maybe because with the book, people have an easier time imagining a more sympathetic Amy in their heads. But the movie with its visuals makes that much, much harder to do. Because I've head people complaining about this too. That in the book she was more sympathetic, trying to be "The Cool Girl." But to me, she was…

See, I think the point you're missing is that sex isn't an exact quid pro quo act. You can go down on me, I can do something else pleasurable to you. I can go down on you, you can get me off some other way.

THANK YOU! I've been reading so many people saying that Amy is this complex, feminist anti-heroine. No, she's not. She's a psychopath. That's it. She's not a feminist role model in any way. She's a monster. She is supposed to be a monster.

You have the patience of an internet saint.

Hand? I mean I've had oral sex, the receiver can say "I'm close," pull out and ejaculate upon a previously agreed upon location.

All Allen cares about at this point is whether he can expense the hot dog he ate or not (no).

True.But it's a freaking blow job we're talking about, not anal or felching or fisting or golden showers. Seriously, if you're scared of sucking cock then you need to get your ass down to the therapist and work on your issues. I don't exactly look forward to blow jobs either but guess what, even if they don't do…

A friend told you this, right? ;)