Muzzle Tov!

"Doesn't feel too good now, does it, Peyton?"

I'd tell you what the Snob City Anthem is, but you probably wouldn't appreciate it.

+1

"Call me crazy, but I'm excited about Jaws' new, expanded multiplatform NFL analyst role!"

Fêtes and/or Boos

The mid-'90s Houston Rockets used to ride bikes to all their home games. The tradition was discontinued when Sam Cassell insisted on riding in the front basket of the lead bicycle.

+1

"Writer. Factchecker. Mostly factchecking. You know, Deadspinning the facts. Like, checking Deadspin. I mean, checking whether facts are alive or dead, or whether the facts are spinning. You know me, crossing all the Deadspins and dotting all the Deadspins! Deadspin."

At Ellis Island, Natalie's grandparents considered, but ultimately rejected, changing their family name to the Anglicized "Vagipple".

I used to be teleported into the arms of cheerleaders ...

"From Fetid Döner to Boisterous Troublemaker" was the headline after I started a fight in that filthy Turkish restaurant.

Charlie the Tuna really shouldn't ski without his glasses. Or be out in the cold without his hat. Or be on dry land for any reason whatsover.

He tried just shortening "Dan" to "D", but Blockbuster told him that they weren't gonna take it.

Crap Anson.

And let's all welcome J-Bug, Hench, Sully, Mikey, Jimmy, Adam Corolla, Cousin Sal, Dicky Barrett and Jon Hamm to the Comment Ninja Squadron.

Meanwhile, Clint Malarchuk won the Bloody Goal of the Century competition.

Meanwhile, at SCOTUSFOCUS.COM, there are slow-mo videos of Antonin Scalia writing catty dissents.

Further confirming the thesis, Wilt Chamberlain waited only 3.2 hours after bedding his 19,999th woman to bed the next — a 35% shorter recovery period than his established average.

SportsNet New York: Your inescapable network of mutuality!