I’m torn between the following:

Guys. I’m beginning to think that electing a reality show host to the Presidency May have been a bad idea. 

One crazy guy who was at the end of his rope, recently divorced, out of money, and who supported the most non-violent Democrat in history. That’s your evidence for how liberals are really the violent ones?

As long as FOX talking heads have been complaining about “class warfare” whenever a politician dares to even suggest that the ultra-rich don’t deserve another tax break, I’ve thought, “Class warfare? No one is throwing rocks at limos yet, but if you keep it up, you’ll see what class warfare really looks like.”

That grocery store is one of the reasons that I miss Texas. 

*family wreath

What kinds of jobs do people like Sanders and Nielsen expect to get after working for the Trump Administration?

It’s my theory that the A democrats are staying off the radar for exactly this reason

Quit pretending like you’re giving concerned advice when you’re really just hoping that no one in your neighborhood finds out that you’re a Trump fanboy.

Hey, at least we didn’t wast our tax dollars on healthcare or sandwiches for hungry people. 

I used to live in Shaw. Gentrified or not, Stephen Miller needs to hide his face not only in that neighborhood, but everywhere in DC. 

Let me fast forward us through the next week or two of Trump Administration statements:

There really is no shortage Trump face contortion pictures, is there?

Word.

Didn’t Dick Van Dyke drive that thing?

This president is embarrassingly stupid

My first one was a ‘69 1600 in Sahara. I hated that color when I got it, but I’d sell a kidney for that car in that color now. Dammit, I miss her.

Jalopnik-related Fun Fact: The storied “Astrovette” was leased to Alan Bean.

Trump’s ancestors didn’t tame shit. They came over here on a boat and proceeded to strip as much of this country away for themselves as they could.

I attended a funeral for a guy I know whose son was shot in the head. The program listed two places to send money in lieu of flowers: The Wounded Warrior Foundation and the NRA.