391 goals, 642 assists*

The most ridiculous dose of pettiness I’ve ever endured at a golf course happened two weeks ago at the course I’ve been playing (read: paying a bunch of money to) since I was 7 years-old. (I was actually a member at this course for eight years, from the time I was 10 till the time I was 18. Keep in mind that the club…

I got torn up pretty good once during my junior year in HS. A race to the corner resulted in the toppling of myself and an opposing defenseman. He got up first, and his push-off stride was over my wrist, not the ice. Shredded all of the tendons and sinew, nicked the radial artery, permanently and royally fucked with…

Note: Kovalchuk is not an "older veteran," especially not in hockey terms. (He's 31—hockey players are notorious for playing deep into their thirties and, sometimes, into their forties [also, though he's surely an outlier, Gordie how scored 41 points for the Whalers at the ripe old age of 51, a nearly drinking-age…

This guy - ugh - this guy is the worst guy.

Two Chairs, One Drake. Basically, he just stands there and decides which one he'll sit in and which one he'll hang his coat on. It's a pretty bad movie.

I present to you all seven asshole Little League coaches of the future.

Hey, I'd watch what I say about Ugueth if I were you as dude is on the loose again. Heard he's a BIG Deadspin fan. (He's only a Deadspin fan because he thinks the website is about spinning machetes at people until they are dead, however.)

Despite the above being the definition of magical, the below is still my all-time favorite as fas as baseball freakouts go...

Being a child of the 80' and 90's, I'm certainly a video game guy. But I'm more on the 'live your athletic glory through the screen' kind of guy than a 'know the business of it all' kind of guy. I appreciate the info though!

Oh, that could 100% be the case. I have absolutely zero clue about the video game industry as fas as copyrights go, however.

This guy's face is the best face.

Listen - if this is the biggest bomb Lockheed Martin drops in Russia, I think we're in pretty decent shape.

I'm impressed by many things about this kid. His cavalier attitude toward getting chubby. His being a high schooler at the Olympics. Mostly, though, I'm impressed that he plays GoldenEye despite having been two years old upon the game's release back in 1997. Also, where the fuck did he find still-in-the-package N64…

The idea that 'the needy' would be able to make use of a silver medal is cracking me up right now. And, like, WHICH of the needy people gets it? The second most needy person at the needy house?

As entertaining as the two aforementioned Browns rumors are, my favorite has to be that Weeden actually plans to leave the team of his own volition so that he can pursue his lifelong dream of competing at the Olympics in the pairs figure skating competition. Sure, he's a bit long in the tooth as far as figure skaters…

I agree with hoppoh101 - just an incredibly good username.

I want ALL of the stray puppies. Is there a 'Bring Me All of the Stray Puppies' button?

*Demamp

Something called 'Devil Gets Your Soul' by someone called Nick Nolan.