Yo Mamma’s so fat, alright, alright alright.

Whine-1-1, what’s your emergency?

I feel like there’s a really good “Yo Mamma” joke in here but I’ve got way too much teacher-in-may-brain to come up with one.

I get that you lift, but given your fundraising numbers, it seems fair to ask ... do you even grift, bro?

I started reading this by laughing because “White Caller Crime” is pretty clever but then the article is about institutionalized murder. Is this part of Mental Health Week, where you just mess with my mental health?

Pretty sure “Free Tunnel Rides” is a sexual euphemism in certain circles.. If it wasn’t previously, it is now.

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is if Oliver North didn’t sell him the ammo too.

That was actually pretty calm and reasonable for Alec Baldwin. Low bar, I know. But still not very different from what a lot of commenters here were saying here when the story broke.

Live by Ohms law, die by ohms law.

Park? You mean a Moore-ing.

Maybe the person Trump shoots will be Giuliani

Quoting a British comedian, Russell Howard: “Police say they are looking for a black man in his late 20s... and always will be.”

This is never going to end unless the police start fining white people who make false reports... so yeah, this is totally going to continue to happen.

I went to undergrad at Xavier in New Orleans, and while Hurricane Katrina may have temporarily sank my school beneath the waters, something in me knew that I was supposed to be there. One of the first things I did when it was possible to return in the aftermath was to help gut houses in the Lower Ninth Ward. Most were…

Is that the Ford of Damocles?

People who drive at dusk / dark / rain with no headlights on. They life they save could be their own, but the life they take could be yours.

At any rate, it looks like Thanos can use the Infinity Gauntlet for a lot more than killing off half the universe.

One word: raisins.

Umm, it’s pretty obviously William Dafoe.