Beef is when your moms ain’t safe up in the streets

This is a publicity stunt.

Most boring feud ever.

Shots fired!

So far this week, without even trying to investigate, these are things I’ve learned that groups of black people shouldn’t do in the United States:

I can’t speak to a cultural trend, but I have noticed in myself in the last five or so years a tendency to analyze entertainment before I enjoy it. It’s become almost involuntary. I’m so used to questioning whether something is hurtful or insensitive that sometimes when I’m watching stand-up or other comedic…

Even though you whittled down the reach of your comments with the repetition of “specifically,” posters will still think you made a gross generalization. That’s my bet. And it is those posters who are killing comedy. Also, I agree with you.

Are you Andrea Zuckerman?!

Hmm, my kids have passports and have seen interesting parts of the world. Flying tonight actually and the 8 and 5 year old have packed their own bags. So yeah, I enjoyed the chuckle of the inevitable “I don’t like kids” post.

Needs a mutant baby.

Still a better love story than Twilight.

If you’re 39 years old and deciding to crash a college party, life ain’t working out the way you planned it, even before the guns get brought up.

to his credit, George Jason Alexander posted this on twitter

If your company’s 401k only has shitty, high fee fund selections available, invest the minimum required to get the match (if any) and then open an IRA and fund that.

Also, talk to your company about getting better fund selections. Fidelity has plenty of low fee funds available, oftentimes companies just have to ask.

I know a girl who constantly complains about being single and blames it on being heavier than the average woman or on guys being superficial and only liking thin, blonde girls. I’m not saying there aren’t guys out there that only go for those type of women but I do think that if you own your body and are comfortable…

I’m actually so happy she gave a specific number for how much she weights. I know the number isn’t supposed to matter, and two people who weigh the same thing can look very different, but I feel like I’m constantly hearing about women who weigh 135 and want to lose 5 or 10 more lbs and it makes me sick. I just saw Amy…

if students are in a situation where they can’t pay for lunch, they’re given one slice of american cheese on a hamburger bun along with a small milk.

No school lunch ever looked like this.

A 12 or 13 year old kid pushed me into a soda display in a grocery store once (it hurt like a bitch), when he turned to run I close lined him. He fell into a nearby wall of firewood.

If your blanket fort is made from sweatpants, I’d choose another hiding place.