Seriously?  This isn’t common knowledge?  Come on up to Canada, apparently you guys all need to be taught how to winter.

Missed one. Understandable because it’s pretty obscure even by 90s scifi standards, but still, BSG owes a lot to Space: Above and Beyond

I just assume everyone has a crush on me at all times and spend my days gently letting everyone down.

It’s a weird conversation to have with my Uber drivers, but rules are rules.

Don’t have kids... Because they’ll stand there with the GD door open, even though you’ve asked them 1500 times to close the door, because.... Now there are 7 flies inside the freaking house...

Any time I ever said “The minimum I’d consider is..” that was the offer I would inevitably get.  So, I also suggest raising what you state to be $X above your actual $X.

First, the left lane is for passing, but this rule is ignored entirely in the VA/MD/DC area.

We all talked about your lights after we left the party.

Do you have kids? Honestly, I had the same attitude until my oldest began having problems with school in the second grade that quickly turned into problems with authority itself because the way the school tried to handle it. My wife and I spent the next year playing the “cop” and “boss” in an attempt to force him to…

Yeah, she was being an asshole and is mad that Denzel didn’t go for it.

Ornithomorphizing? Sorry, just passing through on my way to the nerd store.

ornithomorphizing

oh exceeeeeewwwwwse ME your highness

You made me crack a smile.

I hope this album cover doesn’t taint critics and fans opinions of it...

ask it about it’s day, how is it feeling? try not to interject.

A lot of people in this comments section are super harsh. I have never cheated on my wife of 10 years, and I don’t have reason to suspect she has ever cheated on me. If she did, it would not be an automatic game over, it would depend on a lot of circumstances. 

If you’re making dessert, it’s OnlyFlans.

Thoughts from a physicist (who will give correct, but not practical answers):

“I’m the ruler of a kingdom that consists of one town, you’re a weird boy who can’t speak and feels compelled to throw every clay pot they walk by into a wall, it’ll never work.”