You warm the cockles of my cold, cold heart, Ballaban.

If I ever meet Mike, I have to tell him the story about(and apologize for) back when I was a dumb teenager(well, 19, but still pretty fucking dumb) and Jalop was barely finding it’s legs, I conned my way into a media pass for a big local motorshow by tricking them…

Gee I sure do love how Kinja keeps kicking me out of the text box when I writing, editing, or doing basically anything with a comment. Fucking stupid thing.

Pretty sure someone over your way still has Spinelli’s number around somewhere, I wonder what he has to say about that?

I’d be careful driving a car like that, if it’s too brown, Reddit might accuse it of carrying out the Boston Bombing.

The Irony-Cherry on top being that the creepily obsessive gawker hatred on reddit only really took hold after Gawker outed the mod of their subreddit for creepshots of underage girls.

Nah, that pain you’re feeling is actually your eyes, from the blinding lack of self-awareness posessed by someone saying that in a post on reddit, of all places.

“Not accurate at all.”

No mate, no magic. I’ve seen shit like this in real life, this is damned accurate to every Bush Mechanic I’ve ever known.

Now, If you’re Australian, you can watch the entire show on iView right here.

Call me a snob if you must, but I think I’ll hold off for Chuck Tingle’s exploration of that literary space, “Pounded in the butt by the universe”. I mean, how can you top the ruling king of the genre, who wrote such literary classics as “Pounded in the butt by my own butt” and “Pounded in the butt by my own book…

Back in the days before I became a journo, I was a flight attendant(among other things.) Here’s a fun fact for you - all Australian Cabin Crew, by law, are required to be trained in appropriate self-defense(and offensive) techniques, as well as how to correctly use various types of restraints. It’s one of the more…

Sure, let me help you out.

Oh, I do this. I love doing it when people are nearby, just to see the confusion on their faces.

Eh, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen some worse fucking mutants on Tinder.

Fiver says we see one in the next Fast and Furious movie.

Yeah, for a while I was happy they were axing it, back in 2014, but honestly folding it into the news was the worst thing they could have done. It’s simply awful, instead of an hour of news, you have 20-30 minutes of news, and you can almost feel the switch flip over to Today Tonight Bullshit peddler mode, as they…

This is truer than you think. If you can’t rip a good skid, then better not to try at all, because you’ll become an absolute joke.

Oh, I know these guys. As in, I literally know some of the people who work on that program, though not on that segment.

Likely, but there are other possibilities - after all, despite splash saying 0 for attack power, it still does a small amount of damage. And struggle can take a fair whack out of someone’s health, if it fires - meaning you can, in theory, take down another poke with Magikarp. I mean, even against a real weak one, it’s…

I have a Magikarp, who for laughs while I’m slowly building up candy to evolve him, I keep sticking in gyms. He used to be called Eggy Bastard, because he was a useless eggy bastard.

He’s now earned a new name - World Champ - because somehow, SOMEFUCKINGHOW, he managed to beat someone. I don’t know who, or why, or how,…