Please, somebody counter this with a story giving me faith in humanity.

Yep, sorry friend. You’re also not allowed to go play in the McDonald’s PlayPlace even if your mother always refused to take you when you were little.

It’s human resources, not as a “resource for humans”, but as in “humans are our resource, to be consumed and discarded”.

I feel compelled to tell everyone this, because apparently too many people don’t know:

Doesn’t everyone?

You say that like it’s a bad thing.

So... if I read you correctly.... you’re saying that Dan Le Batard masturbates to Olivia Munn while eating shrimp?

Normally if I want ice cold air blasted my way I just ask my wife a question.

They were so, so close to not fucking this up, and then I got to the second to last paragraph.

I really hate that he’s so cute. As you suggest, his whole existence is deeply cruel, but people generally don’t care, because OMG FLUFFY TEACUP DOG.

This better?

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

Nope, this is actually pretty much the exact opposite of what California needs...

Hannah deleted the tweets because she believes the relationship is capable of being saved, primarily because Klay is quite amenable to molding.

pffft. reading the article? amateur.

The power of suggestion is strong. Telling somebody that is what is being said can make people hear that despite what is actually said unless things are exceptionally clear.

According to the bible they’re doing it right, though. Obedience to god is always supposed to be first, your own child’s life is worth less than that. Here’s what that gets you.

See: Suspension of disbelief.

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.