I was an asshole in junior high. I feel really guilty about it to this day, but now that I teach kids in junior high I know that they're all basically assholes.

So she's going to leave him, then he will murder her, cook her, and eat her.

My students were hyping the song up so much that I was excited to hear it, but was disappointed. It's not a bad song, but I wouldn't put it in even the top 20 Disney songs.

If I ever won an Oscar I'd want that playing as I walked off the stage, such a great song.

I don't think it would be glamorous, but washing underwear and shit would be worth it for even a glimpse at sets and being able to watch a movie and know you had some part of it, however small. And I like being told what to do. Just tell me who to put the clothes on so I can go home and giggle about how I saw a famous…

See, I see one of those casserole dishes and want to puke. No more casseroles, ever. I promise my future children this.

It's ok, I took one of those quizzes for Downton Abbey and got Mr. Bates. Can't get any worse than that.

Wardrobe assist. Gotta say, would probably love that job.

I don't know if that would work, Aladdin smiles sometimes.

I'm a teacher and I'm the same way. The only thing I ever say to teenagers is DO YOUR HOMEWORK or STAY IN SCHOOL or DON'T DO DRUGS.

I wish people would stop doing this shit. There is enough of it that's real without making hoaxes that end up convincing people that it isn't. Stupid as hell.

I think that Kanye still kind of looks like a baby. She looks EXACTLY like him, and it's adorable.

Man but Sessions is so insufferable, I want to asphyxiate myself just hearing him talk.

I think you spelled John Sessions wrong.

Generally I agree, but if you're going to put in a bid for a worldwide event where hundreds of thousands of people will descend upon your city, you might want to be ready for it. It's not like the Olympic Committee picks a city at random and they have to deal with it, they wanted this and have had years to prepare.

I'm just bracing myself for the terrorist attack. They've already had one for chrissakes. It's just a matter of what point in the games. You couldn't pay me to be there right now, and normally I'd jump at the chance.

I stayed at a couple of hotels in France that didn't. But that was maybe two hotels out of ten I've stayed in.

That show was my first exposure to Superman. My dad would watch it all the time. Ah, the memories.

I've never met anyone that looks so amazing in every picture taken of them to the point where you can't even see anyone else, just them. Even more normal celebrities take a lot of bad pictures but are retouched later. She just looks like that, period. She is amazing.

Luckily people told me I looked like my dad and not my mom. No offense to my mom, but I would have a huge complex if it had been the opposite. I shaved my head and had a similar hairstyle to her for a while and it drove me nuts, I don't care how good it looked on me.