... So, we're shielding the FETUSES from pain, but once they're born and full-blown babies, it's suddenly okay for them to die in pain.

I'm excited! I just got a job with benefits that go into effect at the end of August. I can finally see a gyno, which I've never been able to afford before. I can't wait rarrrrr.

There are schools that DON'T do this? I guess it's because I'm teaching in the same district I went to, which has strict dress codes, but I've always thought it was a given that teachers had to wear thick straps, etc. I want to find the magical district where I can wear whatever I want.

Justin Bieber once made a tweet that said, "I miss Tupac." He was two when Tupac died.

Then again, his mother was not surprised to find out what he did.

I know people keep making the joke about what else you're supposed to do in a theater that shows porn except masturbate, but seriously. SERIOUSLY. They actually raid these theaters and arrest anyone with their dicks out? Really? And we're supposed to be shocked and scandalized? Big freaking deal. He was masturbating…

Still, if you see that something is trending on Twitter, why would you assume it's about your dress? Wouldn't you click on it, read the tweets, and see that it clearly had nothing to do with you?

Nameberry is a notoriously bad naming site among people who follow bad baby names (yes, we do that). It's mostly comprised of teenagers who are just listing off their fantasy names while pretending to be 24 and pregnant with identical triplets.

I'm a teacher and if I get a student named Khaleesi in one of my classes, I will have a LOT of trouble not bursting into laughter.

Nameberry is almost entirely made up of people who are pretending they are going to have a baby and making up a name for it. Every single person on the site is pregnant with quadruplets, allegedly. Most of them are just teenage girls giving wacky names to imaginary children. Don't trust Nameberry.

I've given up on Firefly. It's just been too long. Everyone's a decade older. Wash is dead. It's hopeless. But if Sean Maher's abs are still awesome I might be persuaded to watch anyway.

My mom and aunt are in their 50s and play WoW and other online games. Of course, I don't think they're the norm. They're the ones who introduced me to gaming at a young age.

Yep, my entire family is full of slobs, and while that's bad in a lot of ways, I have an awesome immune system.

I've recently stopped buying cheap mass clothing from target and started saving up for more expensive clothing. The problem is I had to wait to get a job in order to do it, because 20 dollar dresses was all I could afford before. It really sucks. Now I'm paying about 70-100 dollars for a dress, but they will last me…

I was in France, and almost ALL of the panhandlers did this. It worked, too. Those dogs and kitties were freaking adorable. There was one cat curled up in this fussy bassinet, and I was like, how can I NOT give money to this little kitty?

My first thought was, "They make lightsabers for BABIES?" Awesome.

French. Much easier if you're a native English speaker.

I read it as One Direction too, and was thinking, "Aren't those guys like 13?"

The women in my family pride themselves on being called bitches. We tend to speak our minds and not take crap. The first time I got called a bitch my mom's eyes welled up with tears. She said she had raised me right. I don't know if that's true. Maybe I'm just an asshole.

I was taking Japanese in college and they used it a bit. I HATED it. It was horrible. You sat down at the computer, and they'd say a vocabulary word. With no indication as to what it meant. You'd click on a random picture, because how the hell are you supposed to know what that is? Then there's an eardrum-splitting…